Three Point Match, No Doubling
by Idamae
Summary: Written in response to the WIKTT Picture This Challenge. Will Severus and Hermione really let the dice decide their lives and their love? CHAPTER 14 IS UP! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't owe the characters. JK Rowling does. I'm not making money on them, she is (and rightly so). Just having a bit of fun!**

"That was low, Sal, even for you." Severus Snape, Potions Master of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry surveyed the felt and leather covered board on the table before him.

Severus had no patience for Wizards chess, the game of choice for most wizards and witches alike. It was a tedious, long-winded affair. Severus preferred the quick, sometimes bloodthirsty, game of backgammon. The game was dependent on luck as much as skill and strategy, much like his own life. One wrong roll and the whole game could be lost.

Across the board a chuckle floated out of empty air. Severus Snape was alone, save the company of a long-dead Hogwart's founder.

He spent his evenings playing backgammon with the ghost of Salazar Slytherin.

And he was losing this match.

"Doubling now, are you," Severus was fairly livid. "Never took you for a coward."

Again, the airy, almost melodious chuckle. "Well then, boy, if I'm such a coward, show me up. Take the double."

The dark-haired wizard studied the board, eyes narrowed in intense concentration. Counting pips and picturing rolls of the brown and cream ivory dice. Weighing his odds and his chance at defeating the ghost who now had him at a slight disadvantage.

No matter how slight, though, Severus was not in the mood to risk the entire match. With a flick of his finger, his dice cup was pushed on its side. "Resign"

Salazar's laugh filled the room. "Coward, eh? Well, this coward is up 4 points to 3. One more and I take the match. I believe the proper term isn't cowardice, it's cunning."

The legs of the wooden chair Severus sat in scraped along the stone floor of his office. Severus mumbled something about a cup of tea and reminding him never to play with a Slytherin again as he stomped to the fireplace and floo'd the elves.

He returned with the steaming mug. "Oh, how rude of me. Would you care for a cup of tea, Sal? It's Earl Gray, your favorite. Oh, that's right, you're dead, aren't you? Oh well, sorry. My apologies. How thoughtless of me."

Severus sat and watched as the board seemed to reset itself. One of the annoying things about only having a ghost to share a game with was the fact that this ghost refused to be visible. It had been quite disconcerting him to be playing with "no one", but over the years, Severus had grown used to it. He had taken great pains to assure that no one got "too close" to him. The life he had led outside of the castle had been a dangerous one. Any sort of relationship would have placed the other person in a hazardous position had Severus' role ever been exposed. His separation from the rest of the castle by his role in the war had been difficult; but, he had adjusted to the loneliness that his position as traitor and spy had forced upon him. 

Now, with the war ended not 6 months ago, he found he was at a loss as to how to rejoin the human population and still opted to spend his evenings seemingly alone.

Severus pushed the self-pitying thoughts of aloneness from his mind and concentrated on the game before him. 

He was being, once again, thoroughly whooped by his invisible opponent when there was a knock at the door. Severus knit his brows a bit in confusion. He rarely had visitors to his private chambers and was thoroughly at a loss as to who his Friday night intruder could be. 

With an annoyed huff, he looked once more at the 3 stones sitting on the bar and at Salazar's thoroughly blocked home quarter, before standing and stalking to throw the door open.

A tall, willowy beauty with tumbling chestnut curls stood meekly on the other side.

"Miss Granger! Why are you disturbing me at this hour of the evening?"

Hermione Granger's brown eyes danced with nervousness. Clutched tightly to her chest was a familiar, well-worn tome. "I'm just returning the book you leant me. I thought you may need it." Her voice was barely audible, squelched by the feelings of nervousness that the imposing Potions Master elicited in her at their every meeting.

She avoided his eyes submissively and glanced behind him. The darting glances settled behind him as a smile lit up her face. For a moment she forgot herself and stared wide eyed at the backgammon board, with its pips and dice moving magically on their own.

The realization, unknowingly false, that Severus Snape was forced to play alone with an enchanted board invaded her mind; along with a feeling of sorrow for the tall figure in black before her.

She took a deep breath and plunged in head-first. "You play backgammon, Professor??? I love the game. I've found no one else here who can play competently. If you would like, maybe sometime, we could share a game or two??"

Severus ripped the volume from her hands. "I'm sure your idea of competent and my idea of competent are two different things, Miss Granger," he sneered. On his visible surface, he held the veneer of disdain that had set him apart from the rest of Hogwarts for so many years. Inside, though, deep in the dark places that had hidden for so long, a glimmer of hope ignited. She was an exceedingly brilliant woman. Maybe a flesh and blood gaming companion would be enjoyable. The Gods knew he was sick of Salazar.

His hasty words and done their damage, though. Hermione shrank back from him. "Of course, I'm so sorry. I'm sure I'm not up to your level of playing, Professor. Please forgive me from being so presumptuous. I'll leave you _alone_ to your game." She turned from him and walked hastily down the stone corridor and out of sight.

Even though her words were respectfully spoken, they were intended to wound. Wound they did. 

The slam of the heavy oak door echoed through the dungeons. "I resign," barked Severus. He stomped out of the room into his office and slammed that door as well.

Hermione Granger had been an annoyance to him from her first day at the castle. Always questioning, always pushing, always showing off her knowledge. She never had to prove to him that she was brilliant. It exuded from every pore of her body. She understood the intricacies of even the most difficult potion making technique, her mind made connections with ingredients that never even occurred to him. Yes, she would be a worthy adversary for him, even if only across the backgammon board.

His mind made up, he sat down at his desk and pulled out a quill and a piece of parchment.

In Gryffindor tower, the Seventh Year Head Girl looked out across the Forbidden Forest from her window. The leaves were brilliant shades of red and orange flashing in the moonlight, matching the temper in her heart. Hermione abhorred the way Professor Snape constantly ridiculed her and dressed her down like a child. She was eighteen years old, and the war had added several more years of unfortunate experiences onto that. How dare he treat her like a first year?

She was also berating herself for feeling anything for him in that moment in the dungeons, even if it was a flash of pity for his solitary lifestyle. How could anyone stand to spend time with him, unless it was forced upon them?

Her furious musings were interrupted by the sound of beating wings. A raven was soon perched on her windowsill, a scroll tied to its leg. Hermione quickly untied the message and stroked the bird's head in thanks before reading it. When the bird remained perched on the sill, she assumed that it was waiting for a reply and unrolled the message.

Anyone who would have been watching Hermione Granger at that moment would have seen a multitude of emotions play over her face.

_Miss Granger, _

_Perhaps I spoke in haste this evening. I'm sure you are a most capable backgammon player. _

If you would like, we could play a match tomorrow evening after dinner in my quarters. Three point match, no doubling.

_Please send your reply via my familiar. _

_SS _

_P.S. I'm sure, for obvious reasons on both of out parts, we will keep this to ourselves. _

First came wide-eyed surprise as she recognized Severus Snape's neat handwriting. Then, the pleased smile as she realized she would finally enjoy a decent game of backgammon. Then, finally, the narrowed, suspicious stare as the realization sank in.

Why was Professor Snape challenging her to a match? 

Still, she was not one to back down from a challenge, even when it was as dark and overpowering as this one. Hermione sat down at her desk and scratched out a reply on a fresh piece of parchment.

_Professor Snape, _

_I am most pleased to accept your offer of a match. I'll see you tomorrow after dinner. _

_Sincerely, _

_Hermione Granger _

_P.S. You can be assured, I will not be sharing the information of our match with anyone. _

Hermione rolled the parchment and tied it to the raven's leg. 

Being a ghost had its advantages, and Salazar Slytherin took advantage of them all the time. Among his favorites were walking through walls to peep on the Seventh Year girls in the shower, appearing out of no-where to scare Albus Dumbledore out of his afternoon musings, and reading private messages over Snape's shoulder.

The founder of the House of Slytherin chuckled as he floated out of Snape's office. "Let the games begin."


	2. Chapter 2

Severus was disconcerted all throughout the next day. It had been years since he had spent any kind of "genuine" time with anyone. Years since he was able to let his guard down a bit with a living, breathing person. He wasn't sure he remembered how it was to be Severus Snape, as he was many years ago. The fact that the person who would be joining him tonight was a student didn't help the feelings of dread. His fear-provoking persona was most effective in the classroom and he was loathe to give up that edge.

Nonetheless, that evening he found himself in his sitting room, board set up, waiting for the arrival of Hermione Granger.

The knock came precisely at 7pm.

Severus waved his hand at the door, not bothering to rise. It swung on it's hinges to reveal a Hermione Granger he saw very little of. She was dressed in Muggle low-riders and a black (too tight fitting for Severus' taste) t-shirt. She stepped into the room and looked around. When her eyes settled on the table in front of the fireplace she smiled and made her way over to take her seat opposite the Potions Master.

He eyed her somewhat coldly, "I believe we should set up a few rules before we commence with this game."

Hermione looked at him timidly. Severus had the feeling she was not the shy little thing that she portrayed on her surface. Hermione was too intelligent for that. 

He cleared his throat and began. "First of all, you can quit with the wilting daisy routine. I have observed you with your classmates, and shy and withdrawn does not suit you. You needn't act differently around me. Contrary to popular belief, I do not eat my students if they displease me."

Hermione's posture immediately relaxed. "I never believed you did. Neville still lives, does he not? I just assumed that behaving respectfully around you is the best way to stay in your 'good graces' for want of a better term"

Severus allowed a not-too-often-seen smile break over his face. "Neville Longbottom has been the only student I have even considered cannibalizing, and believe me, no one would blame me. As for your demeanor, there is a difference between acting respectfully, and acting like a dishrag."

Hermione nodded, "Noted."

"As I said in my message, I do not wish the rest of the castle population to know of our games. As such, you may tell your friends, if they ask, that you are assisting me with a Potions Project."

Hermione smirked at him. "Wow, wouldn't have thought that one up myself. Thank you for giving me such a believable story."

An elegantly lifted eyebrow met her sarcasm, "Respect, Miss Granger."

"But of course, Professor Snape. My deepest apologies for my behavior."

Another rare smile and the Professor moved on. "Now, what type of match are you up for? Three point match?"

Hermione nodded and picked up her dice. A suspicious narrowing of the eyes precluded the next question, "Doubling or no doubling?"

Severus decided to be gracious. "That is up to you, Miss Granger."

Hermione played with a pip on the board in front of her, weighing her next words carefully. "Well, I have always viewed the doubling cube as a tool for cowards. I would rather play a good game and see it to the end, than have it cut short as soon as one player gets ahead a bit."

Severus nodded once. "Ever the Gryffindor bravery."

"I'm sure that completely offends your Slytherin sense of shrewdness."

"Shrewd, that is a rather polite term for Slytherin. Especially for a Gryffindor. No doubling it is. Gammons two points, backgammons three." Severus appeared to give in gracefully, but was inwardly relieved at her dislike for the cube. "Normally, we would cast dice for the opening roll. But, I insist that it is, how do the muggles put it? Ladies before Gentlemen." He was almost offended at the teasing smile that graced the young Gryffindor's face at the reference to a gentleman, but decided to let it go.

A roll of Hermione's brown dice began the match.

They played long into the night, match after match. Severus was pleased to find that the young witch was a most accomplished player and stayed neck-in-neck with him for wins.

Sometime during the matches they both found themselves surprisingly at ease with the other and soon began lighthearted bantering back and forth. Just as the mantle clock was striking midnight, Severus rolled a double six to drive home a gammon and win the match.

Hermione's dropped jaw brought a bubble of laughter to Severus' throat. It was not the first of such uncommon displays in the evening for him.

"You cheated."

"What do you mean, I cheated? How did I cheat? It was the luck of the dice."

"You used magic, you had to. No one is that lucky."

Severus tried, in vain, to plaster an intimidating look on his face. "I assure you, Miss Granger, that I did not cheat. I am… I am…," Severus struggled here to keep his face straight. "I am appalled that you would even make such a suggestion. Perhaps you would like to continue this discussion of cheating another night, as I am too offended to continue."

Hermione was having such a fit of silent giggles by this point that she was close to sliding out of her chair.

"Besides, I do believe it is after your curfew. You should head back up to Gryffindor."

The laughter came to an end as a fleeting look of sadness crossed Hermione's face. Still, she didn't argue, respectful 'til the end. "Yes, Professor."

They rose from their seats, but before Hermione got to the door, Severus spoke. "One moment, Miss Granger. There is one more thing I need to do for you before you leave."

Hermione turned, confused, and with the beginnings of unknown little butterflies in her stomach. Professor Snape was bent over his small writing desk in the corner, scribbling on a piece of parchment. When he finished, he walked across the room and handed the paper to her. "It's a pass, in case you get stopped by Filch or one of the other Professors."

Hermione looked down at the pass and smiled faintly. "Thank you, Professor." As she turned to open the door, she heard Severus clear his throat briefly.

"Sleep well, Miss Granger. If you have nothing to do tomorrow evening and would wish some more competition, you are welcome to join me again."

Hermione didn't turn around, lest he see the smile that she could not contain. "Perhaps, Professor. Thank you. Sleep well."

And she was gone.

No sooner had the door shut behind her, than Severus felt the chill that always accompanied Salazar's arrival to his chambers.

"Quite a little dish, isn't she, Severus?"

Severus returned to the table and busied himself with putting the board and pieces away. "What do you mean by that?"

The ghost's voice floated about the room. "I mean, the little chit has certainly grown up. Oh, if only I had a corporeal body again. I would teach her things that would make her Gryffindor sense of honor run screaming in terror. Or at least have her screaming one way or another."

Severus placed the game on the bookshelf with a bang. "Salazar Slytherin, she is a student at this school. Surely you understand that I can't even begin to notice those things about her, nevertheless do something about it. You are a founder of this school, you can certainly imagine the scandal."

"Imagine the scandal? I created the scandal. Worked my way through all 4 houses before the three other insufferable stick-up-their-asses decided to toss me out of here. Oh, yes, Salazar Slytherin left Hogwarts over the mudbloods. What a load of bullshit. The Chamber of Secrets was nothing more than my own little love nest. The only monster I unleashed down there was the one in my pants. It was that twit Riddle that brought in the basilisk and turned it to a chamber of horrors, not I. I had it decked out in rich velvets, soft lights, and a huge bed."

Not many things outright shocked Severus Snape. Right then, though he stood gape-mouthed and staring in the direction of Salazar's voice. "You disgusting lecher."

"I may have been a lecher in my day, but I certainly didn't spend nights being intimate with my right hand like my current head of house. Boy, Sev, your face certainly does turn red."

The ghost heard the slam of the bedroom door in reply and when he tried to pass through, was shocked to find the room warded against ghosts. "Well, there goes my fun here for the night. Guess I'll peek in on Hooch and that Hufflepuff seventh year she's been entertaining. Always did enjoy the girl on girl action."


	3. Chapter 3

Severus and Hermione's first night of backgammon set the stage for the months to come. Several nights a week they met to enjoy the game. Severus was more and more enchanted by the seventh year's company. It had been many years since he had felt so at ease around another human being and on the nights they didn't play, he found himself longing for her presence. 

Hermione's enjoyment of the Professor's company came as a shock. Bit by bit, Severus had changed. During the day, he was still the aloof, greasy Potion's Master that the students loathed and feared. In the evenings, backlit by fire and eyes narrowed in concentration, he became another person. In their times together the over-powering persona gave way to a respectful intellectual (dare she say?) equal. . Severus listened to her ideas, and bantered back and forth with her, if his take on the issue was in conflict with hers. During their debates, she could see him turning her side over and over in his mind. He actually gave weight to her words, considered them. 

As easily as they fell into their intellectual discussions, they also fell into more lighthearted jokings and the dungeon quarters could often be heard ringing with her high pitched giggles and the baritone thunder of his laughter. He was what she craved in her years at Hogwarts, and she filled a void in him that he hadn't even been aware was empty.

So, as the first snows were falling on the castle, the dungeons were snug and warm as the two new-found friends shared their final evening together of the year.

Neither one's heart was really in the game that night and they were both uncharacteristically quiet. Hermione would be leaving on the morning train and for the next three weeks Severus would be essentially alone again. He both hated the thought of her leaving and loathed himself for feeling that way. 

Hermione found herself confused in a multitude of ways, herself. Normally, she would have looked forward to going home to her muggle friends and family. This year, though, she found herself dreading the rising of the next day's sun. She knew she would miss the man sitting, brooding, across from her.

As the night had begun, Hermione had been taken aback by Severus' silence and the sharp tone to his words when he did speak to her. But, as the pit in her stomach expanded with every passing minute, she realized that he was probably feeling her impending departure with just as much dread as she was.

Finally, with a heavy sigh, she pushed the board away. "That's it, I can't take this anymore tonight." Black eyes tinged with a bit of panic met hers. "I can't concentrate and neither can you. Let's forget about pips for tonight and do something else."

The fear left his eyes as Severus nodded, understanding her distress. With a wave of his wand, the board was in its place on the bookshelf. "What do you propose we do, Miss Granger?"

"It's the first snow, lets go for a walk." Hermione sprung to her feet and was walking toward the door, when Severus got over his shock enough to reply.

"Are you daft, girl? It's practically a blizzard out there. You want to go for a walk?"

"Afraid of a little snow, Professor? Yes, I'm going for a walk. I love the snow and the peace it brings with it."

It was Severus' turn to sigh, but he reluctantly rose to his feet. "Fine, then. A walk it is. But, if I catch pneumonia, I'll personally see to it that you are expelled. Now, then, how do you propose to partake of this little expedition? You have no cloak."

A devilish smile graced her face as her wand was pulled. "Accio cloaks." From Severus' bedroom two of his own cloaks floated into her hands. One, she tossed to Severus. The second was quickly shrunk down and swung around Hermione's shoulders. 

Severus grinned at her amusedly, "That takes care of that, I suppose."

Once outside, Hermione and Severus took a slow, meandering pace down to the lake. The world around them glowed in the fresh snowfall as the veritable blizzard gave way to a slower, more peaceful rate of descent. 

Far above them, at the Headmaster's chamber window, a knowing pair of blue eyes watched with a twinkle. Albus Dumbledore shuddered with a chill. "I think they would make a good couple. What do you think, Salazar?"  
  


"I think she'll be a hell-cat in the bedroom and leave his back bleeding," came the floating voice.

"I imagine that will be their business. But, a push toward that end will be in order. Severus can be insufferably stubborn. His guilt weighs heavily on him. No matter what the outcome of the war, he can't forget the acts he commited. It was all a necessary means to and end."

Salazar nodded, even though he knew Albus couldn't see him. "He'll never forget, Albus. If only the boy would forgive himself."

Down below, the pair was silent for a while, just taking in the beauty around them.

Hermione was the first to break the quiet. "I'll miss this while I am at home. The muggle world is so different from this. There is no quiet, always cars, horns, alarms, noise in general."

Severus nodded, having spent time enough in London to understand. "Have you decided if you're going to attend a muggle university, or a magical one?"

He could visibly see her tense. "My parents want me to attend a muggle one, insisting that I've spent enough time on a magical education. But, I am a witch, or I wouldn't be here. It will be a magical university. I'll tell them when I go home and I'm sure they will be unhappy, to say the least. I wonder, does the magical realm have education grants and scholarships? They, most certainly, will not be helping me out paying for it."

Severus was relieved to hear of her decision, thankful not to be losing a witch of her caliber to the muggle world. "When it comes to a witch with your power and intelligence, things like tuition have a way of taking care of themselves. Don't worry about that."

They were drawing close to the Forbidden Forest, and stopped to look out over the wintry landscape. Once again, a peaceful silence descended over them. It was a comfortable silent-ness that wrapped itself around the two of them, binding them together, unconsciously, to face the weeks apart. Both would call on this moment to set aside the longing for the other's company while they awaited Hermione's return.

Severus hadn't been aware of his hands' voyage to hers until he felt the icy coldness of his skin touch hers. "You're freezing," he commented, following up with a murmured warming spell. "We should get back inside. It's growing late." 

Hermione nodded, afraid to speak, lest her voice shatter the strange, forbidden tension that was surrounding them. Severus released one of her hands, one set of fingers remaining entwined with hers as they began their walk back to the castle. 

From above, they were still observed. The closeness of their black-cloaked figures betrayed the union of their flesh that was hidden in the folds of wool. The Headmaster smiled even as his mind began to search for a plan.

Severus and Hermione reached the door of the castle, but neither moved to open it.

Hopefully, she raised her brown eyes to meet his. "Will I see you in the morning, Professor?"

The title was all that was needed and the moment was gone. Severus pulled his hand from hers, more abruptly than he had meant to. "No, Miss Granger, I've no time to travel to Hogsmeade and wave at a departing steam engine. I will see you when you return from your holidays."

Her heart felt the loss, as the wall was erected between them once again; the proper separation of student and teacher. Without thinking she stood up on tip-toe and reached over the barrier for one more fleeting moment.

Her soft lips felt the scratch of whisker just beginning to break the surface of his cheek. It was quick and fleeting, the touch of her to him. "Happy Holidays, Professor."

The door was opened, she slipped inside and was gone.

Leaving the man in black to struggle with his screaming inner-demons alone.

After a few minutes of composing himself, Severus opened the door and, too, slipped inside. He shouldn't have been surprised to see the Headmaster waiting just inside the door.

"Enjoying a moonlit stroll, Severus?" 

Severus seethed as he saw the knowing shine in the Headmaster's eyes. "You know very well that I was. Don't go any further or get any of your romantic notions. She's my student."

In a swirl of black Severus stormed away in the direction of the dungeon stairs, clenching his fists as he heard Albus' voice call from behind him. "Not forever, Severus." Followed by that annoying, musical laugh.

The morning sun shown brightly, enhanced by the pure white of the landscape. Hermione had taken a compartment to herself in the back of the train, not wanting any company to intrude upon her thoughts. She knew he wouldn't be there, but, still found herself looking out the back window, forlornly, at the empty platform. Wrapped up in his transfigured cloak, despite the warmth of the train, she waved.

At the castle, at the top of the astronomy tower, Severus stood and watched the train grow smaller and smaller as it moved down the track. He couldn't see the people inside, and knew that they could not see him, either. He lifted his hand and, unknowingly, returned her gesture of goodbye.


	4. Chapter 4

Christmas morning dawned brightly in the London suburbs. Hermione groaned and rolled over to face the wall, trying to block out the blinding rays streaming in her window. She snuggled deep into her covers and let her mind drift to the place it had been traveling to often. The image of her Potions Master grew clearer before her eyes and soon she was asleep again, dreaming of Hogwarts and a man in black. 

At the castle, Severus was in almost the exact same position. In his four-poster he lay on his back and allowed the vision of Hermione Granger to swim in front of him. Ever since she had left the castle, he had alternated between dreaming of her and mentally flogging himself for dreaming of her. His life had been hell. Hermione was miles away from him, settled in with her Muggle family, celebrating the holiday, and not thinking of him at all. He was sure of it. 

_"The holiday!" _How could he have forgotten? Severus was out of bed in a flash and throwing his window wide. He called his raven with a shrill whistle, while he searched through a dresser drawer and with a wide smile, pulled out a small, velvet box. In a few minutes, the raven swooped through the snow-covered valleys, en route to London, his cargo secured to his leg. 

As the snow was replaced by a misty rain, the raven noticed a white owl and immediately recognized it as Harry Potter's familiar. He slowed down a bit and was met with a hoot of "hello". With a brief nod of acknowledgment to the white bird, the raven continued on its course. _"Gryffindors!"_ the raven thought with disgust. 

By this time, Hermione was settled in the living room with her parents. She was surrounded by gifts, some of them from her family and some from her friends. 

They had arrived that morning, shrunken down, by Hedwig. Hermione had been happy to see Harry's bird and sent it off with an extra treat, payment to the loyal familiar for an extra side-trip. 

  


There were the typical gifts from her parents. Socks, underwear (yucky, "granny pants"!), and clothing. Also, this year her parents bought her a laptop computer. She had begun to expect the extravagant Muggle gadgets from her parents. She knew that they hoped they could hook her with the electronic toys most girls her age loved. They just didn't understand that the things she could "play" with in the wizarding world were, by far, the best "toys." 

There also was a package from Ginny, one from Neville, and a small box from Harry. She saved Harry's for last and couldn't smother her sharp intake of breath when she opened it. Inside was a silver locket with a Griffin etched on the front. She lifted it from the box by the long chain it was attached to and examined it closely, looking for the latch. When, finally, it sprung open her breathing stopped for a moment. Along with the return of oxygen to her system, came tears to her eyes. Inside the locket was a muggle photo of Harry, Ron, and her. It had been taken on the Hogwarts Express on the trip home last Christmas. Colin had been bouncing from compartment to compartment, his annoying camera in tow. When they politely posed for their younger housemate, they hadn't realized that it would be the last picture of the three of them together. 

The next April, Ron had died in the final battle. In a gallant show of Gryffindor bravery, he had sacrificed his own life to distract the Dark Lord. The second or two that it took Voldemort to utter the killing curse was all Harry and Severus had needed to blast the demon to hell. 

Hermione had watched it happen from a distance. She was battling with the Death Eaters and too far away to lend any assistance. By the time she reached Ron's side, his body was already cooling. There had been nothing she could do but hold her friend's lifeless body and rock. They had been everything to each other; enemies, friends and lovers. 

At the beginning of their first year, they had disliked each other. The mutual animosity fell just short of hatred. It didn't last long, though. Following the episode with the troll, she quickly became best friends with both Ron and Harry. Then, one rainy and cold night in the fall of their sixth year they stepped over the line. It had happened in an empty classroom, in a hurried and fumbling encounter. They became "more than friends". It only took a few such episodes to convince them they had made a mistake and after a few tears on both their parts, they decided to take a step back and try to regain their prior platonic relationship. 

Things had just started to feel right again. And in a flash of green flame, it was all gone. 

Her parents didn't understand the tears. Their questions were answered with what they viewed as a typical teenage shrug. Many of the things that had happened in her life she had not been able to share with them.(She had not been able to share so many of the things that had happened in her life with them.) If they had known the danger she had been placed in time and time again, they would not have understood. They would have removed her from Hogwarts immediately and her life as she knew it would have been over. 

"Hermione, it's another one of those damned birds." Her father's annoyed voice intruded on her memories. Hermione looked up to see a raven tap-tapping at the bay window. 

  


She slipped the silver chain around her neck and ran to the front door, pausing to grab a bit of toast from the tray sitting on the coffee table. She carefully untied a tiny package and gave the bird it's due, before sending it back out into the rainy late-morning sky. 

Hermione returned to the living room, catching a bit of her parents' conversation. "…why they can't use the post like normal people is beyond me," her mother said. 

Her father answered back, "Well, a few more months and this little 'experiment' will be over. She'll be settled, hopefully at Cambridge, and we'll have our daughter back." 

Hermione took a deep breath and slipped the tiny box into the pocket of her robe. This would be as good a time as any to speak to her family about the future. 

At the castle, the Potions Master was sitting by the fire, sulking. Above him, the staff that remained at Hogwarts would be sharing a large Holiday brunch. He hadn't attended the traditional meal in many years and knew his presence was not missed. Still, he wished that, somehow, he could muster the courage to join them. The tap of a beak to a window high on his chamber wall shook him from his gloom. With a scowl he saw Potter's familiar waving its wings excitedly. From where he sat, a flick of his wand threw the window wide and allowed the owl its entrance. He removed the tiny package from its leg and muttered, "There are some bacon crumbs on the plate over there." 

"Engorgio" The box in his lap expanded and he could see it was wrapped in gaudy, muggle Christmas paper. An envelope was attached to the top. He started with the card, a typical, glittery, store-bought atrocity. Inside was Hermione's neat script. 

_Professor, _

_I knew this card would be amusing with its typical muggle sentimentality. I hope it brought a smile to your face. _

_The square box is another little muggle "treasure" that I couldn't resist. _

_The flat box is your true present and I hope you think of me when you use it. _

_Happy Christmas! _

_Hermione Granger _

_  
_

Severus carefully lay the card aside, mentally noting that he would have to add it to the small box of personal treasures under his bed. He began with the flat box. Once again wrapped in cheap paper, this time shining gold Mylar. He chuckled as he tore open the seams, picturing Hermione as she was wrapping, _"Oh, yes, this is perfect. It's got to be the most horrendous wrapping ever made. Should annoy the bat spectacularly?"_

His smile changed to confusion and wonder as he viewed the box within. The name of an expensive wizarding store was written across the black box in gilt. His hands shook just slightly as he lifted the hinged lid. Inside, nestled in a dark-green satin lining, was a phoenix feather quill. First a smile lit up his face, only to be replaced by a heavy sorrow. He realized that in terms of a student's money, this must have cost her a fortune. He couldn't understand why she felt the need to spend so many Galleons on him. 

With a sigh, he set the quill on top of the card and turned to the next wrapped box. Inside was a white cardboard with the name Clinton's stamped on the top. He pulled out a tissue paper-wrapped mug and when he tore through the tissue, his laughter could be heard throughout the dungeons. Painted on the mug were the words, "Worlds Greatest Teacher." 

In muggle London, the Granger household was experiencing a not so happy holiday. Hermione's father was trying hard to control his temper. "Why do you insist on continuing with this lifestyle? Cambridge is the finest university in the country. With a degree from there, you're assured of having a well-paying job." 

Her mother just sat, looking stricken, beside her father and was silent. 

"Dad, Mum, why can't you understand? This isn't a 'lifestyle.' This is my LIFE. I am a witch. I'll never be anything other than a witch. I didn't choose this life. It chose me. Returning to this world wouldn't change what I am. I will always be able to do magic. I won't 'just forget' it. My decision has been made. I can't expect you to agree with it. I can only hope that you won't hate me for it." 

Hermione's words shook her mother from her shock. "Oh, Hermione. We won't ever hate you." 

Gruffly, her father nodded his head. "You will always be our daughter and have a place in this house. But, I cannot and will not support this endeavor. If you insist on attending another magic school, you will have to do so on your own. Your tuition at Hogwarts is paid through the end of the year. You'll need to see to your own finances after that." 

"I expected that, Daddy, and I do understand. Somehow, I'll manage. And someday, I still hope you'll _understand._ I'll go get changed. Grandma and Grandpa will be here soon." 

  


Hermione left the room before the tears filling her eyes could overflow. In her room, she cried quietly as she began to change her clothing. She tossed her robe on a chair, only to have it slide off and hit the floor with a small, muffled thump. She had forgotten about the package in her pocket. 

Picking up her wand from her dresser, she removed the small box. "Engorgio." 

It was a small velvet-covered jeweler's box, with a simple green ribbon tied around it. A small rolled parchment had accompanied it. 

_Miss Granger, _

_I hope your holidays have been satisfactory thus far. _

This is just a little reminder that we have an appointment on the evening you return to school. 

SS 

She slipped the parchment into her jewelry box on her dresser before opening the lid. 

Inside was a fine gold chain. Dangling from it was two golden dice. Carefully, she pulled the necklace from its box and examined it. Glittering on every side, the dice were encrusted with tiny emeralds for dots. 

At the holiday meal, her mother commented on her new necklace. Blushing slightly, Hermione only replied that it had come from a friend. The rest of the evening was spent with Hermione carefully dodging her mother and grandmother's prodding questions. 

In bed that night, she lay staring at the golden dice sitting on her night stand. The emeralds shone in the moonlight. "Only two more weeks." 

On the grounds of Hogwarts, the Potions Master trudged through the snow, retracing, again, the path he had traveled with Hermione weeks before. His thoughts were filled with her. His mind was struggling to make physical connections where there were none. His fingers remembered the feel of her small hand in his. He was sure he was smelling the floral scent of her perfume drifting through the frigid air. He could swear he felt the softness of her lips on his cheek. Through all of the physical and emotional longing, Severus still had that small, but loud, voice in the back of his head screaming at him, "_She's a STUDENT_!" 

Above him, the Headmaster once again was watching. "You have two more weeks, Severus. Two more weeks." 


	5. Chapter 5

It was a Saturday in early January when the Hogwarts Express pulled into the station in Hogsmeade. Hermione and Harry stepped off the train and started toward the waiting carriages. They were both happy to be returning to Hogwarts and the world in which they felt at home.

The last two weeks had been very tense for Hermione at home. Several times her parents had tried to dissuade her from her decision to attend a magical university. Several times her parents had failed. When Hermione kissed her parents goodbye at King's Cross, it was with a heavy heart. Crossing the barrier onto Platform 9 and ¾ was like stepping into her adulthood. She just wasn't quite sure what being an adult entailed. 

She had been thrilled to see Harry sitting in their "usual" compartment. Students would be traveling back to the castle all weekend, and she had been afraid he would be returning the next day. Hermione spent the time on the train pouring out her heart to her best friend. While Harry didn't have the financial concerns that Hermione did, he was even more alone in the world. He had no family that he wanted to be associated with. His Godfather, whom had taken quite an interest in Harry when he was younger, was seldom seen since Voldemort was destroyed. Sirius had played a key part in the battle and was off reaping the rewards of his new-found celebrity status. 

"C'mon now, Hermione, it's time to pull yourself together, Love. I can see the castle." Harry conjured up a wet cloth and handed it to his friend. "Wipe your tears. We're home now. Things will work out, for both of us. You'll see." 

Hermione gave Harry a small smile as she tried, in vain, to wipe away the signs of her tears. They felt the train pull to a stop and made their way through the throng of students to the wooden platform. The carriages were first come, first serve and they quickly claimed one for themselves. No sooner were they seated than someone else threw wide the carriage door. 

Draco Malfoy's eyes settled on Hermione and with his trademark sneer plastered on his face, he made to enter the small compartment. Harry was too quick, and with a shove Malfoy was sitting outside in the snow. "Bugger off Malfoy, you should have been faster." 

The door was slammed and Harry took the seat across from Hermione. Again, the door was opened. Harry was instantly on his feet, clearly annoyed. "Damn it, I said sod….." He was met with a single raised eyebrow. 

"You said what, Mr. Potter?" Hermione's heart gave a little jump as Severus' smooth voice floated into the compartment. 

"Oh, ummm, nothing Professor Snape." Harry sat back down quickly. He couldn't hide the look of shock on his face as the Potions Master swung up and in, taking the seat next to Hermione. 

"Is there a problem, Mr. Potter?" 

"No, I'm sorry sir. I just thought you might be more comfortable with the Slytherins. Malfoy's coming in today." 

Severus gave Harry a smug little half smile. "Yes, and after he cleaned the snow off his pants, he was forced into a carriage with 2 Hufflepuff third years. I'd rather sit here, thank you." 

Harry found himself brushed off as the Professor turned his attention to Hermione. "I trust you had an enjoyable holiday, Miss Granger." 

Hermione gave a little shrug. "It could have been better, Professor. But, thank you for asking. I'm surprised to see you at the station. I thought you were too busy to travel down from the castle." 

Severus took note of her reddened eyes and slightly swollen nose with a heavy heart. He wanted to hear about her parent's reaction to her news, but it had to wait until they were alone. "I assure you, Miss Granger, I would not be in town, was it not necessary. I had to procure some supplies for Monday's start of term." 

Harry was scowling at the two seated across from him. "So, will you be needing a hand getting your _purchases _into the castle?" 

Severus turned cool eyes on the young wizard across from him. "I've had my packages delivered directly to the dungeons, Mr. Potter." 

The rest of the ride was silent and tense. Harry got the feeling he was missing something, but for the life of him couldn't figure out what. In the days leading up to the final battle, Harry had learned a lot about Severus' life both as a Deatheater and as a Spy. His view of the Potions Master had changed drastically and he now had great respect for him. Because of this, Harry explained away the crackling air as his imagination. 

When they arrived at the castle, Severus was the first one out of the carriage. With a nod in Hermione's direction, "Miss Granger," and a glance at Harry, "Potter," he was gone in a whirl of black. 

Harry grimaced and in a low voice said to Hermione, "I know he's a great hero and all now, but, honestly, he's still a little odd." 

Hermione was silent for a moment, looking at the floor. Finally, with a heavy sigh, she stepped out of the carriage. She turned around briefly, and looked up at her confidant of six and a half years, and smiled sadly. "I suppose, if the roles were reversed, we'd act a little odd, too." Hermione turned and started into the castle, leaving Harry to wonder whether it was just the cold air, or actual tears had been glittering in his friend's eyes. 

It was shortly before the dinner hour when Hermione knocked on Severus' door. She blushed slightly at the look of surprise on Severus' face. Still, he stepped aside and motioned Hermione in. 

Severus was unable to entirely restrain his smile, but he confined it to a quirk at the corners of his mouth. "Miss Granger, I thought our games would begin after the evening meal." 

Hermione suddenly studied the pattern of the rug below her. "I thought perhaps we could share the meal here. I told Harry I was tired and going to lie down. I'm the only Gryffindor girl to return so far, so….." She looked to her Professor with hopeful eyes. There was a myriad of emotions playing through Severus' mind. Happiness, fear, and regret. Finally, he was resolved. He crossed the room in three long strides. Before he could change his mind, he threw a pinch of floo powder into the fireplace. The flames roared a bright green. "The Headmaster's office."

There was a moment's pause and the Headmaster answered, "Yes, Severus?" 

"Albus, I've gotten tied up down here with a potion. I'm afraid I'll be missing dinner." 

An amused laugh drifted out of the fireplace. "Don't worry, Severus. Only half the staff is here anyway. No one will give your absence a second thought. Enjoy your evening." 

"Thank you, Albus." He turned back to Hermione as the flames returned to their normal, dancing colors, and smiled. 

A short time later, they were seated on opposite ends of the long sofa, sharing a roast-beef sandwich. Hermione was oddly silent and Severus noted several times that she started to say something, only to clamp down and look elsewhere. 

He set his plate on the table beside him. "Miss Granger, as enjoyable as your mere presence is, your silence is becoming somewhat disconcerting. Whatever it is you have to say, say it." He thought he was prepared for anything. But, he wasn't… 

"Why did you follow Voldemort?" 

Severus found he couldn't speak for several long moments. When finally he did discover his voice, it was scratchy and raw sounding. "You know, no one ever asked me that. At least no one was ever that forthright. Five points to Gryffindor for your bravery, Miss Granger." 

Hermione smiled, but was silent. Severus chuckled grimly then nodded his head and continued. "Voldemort. He offered me freedom. I was a young child when the rumors started of a new Dark Lord rising. There were random acts of violence and murder. Witches, Wizards, even children. Everyone seemed a target. No one was quite sure whether it was the work of a psychopath or indeed, the darkness arising." 

"The Snape family can trace its roots back more than 500 years. We have always been a powerful family in the wizarding world. I was the sole heir. Unfortunately, there are things that neither power, nor magic can fix. My mother went through hell and back to bring me into this world. And I ruined her for any other children." There was a pained bitterness in his voice and he stopped for a moment to compose himself. 

Hermione scooted a bit closer to Severus and reached out to touch his arm. "I'm sorry, I had no right to ask.." 

Severus stood up abruptly and moved to the fireplace. His posture stiffened and he turned on her, furious. "No, you didn't." Severus regretted his words before the shock of them had even registered on Hermione's face. Something inside him told him this was important. That he needed to tell her about his past. He forced himself to relax. "But since I've begun my tale, it's only fair that I finish it." 

Soon, he was seated again at her side, a little closer to her than they had started out the evening. "My parents did everything to protect me. They went to extremes and my childhood was lonely. I very rarely saw anything of the world outside of the manor grounds. There were wards erected over the entire property. The wards refused admittance to anyone who was not 'approved.' These wards prohibited my leaving the property, unless my mother or father accompanied me. When the time came for me to begin my education here at Hogwarts, I was backward, awkward. I had spent my childhood buried in books, dreaming of far-away lands, learning of things I was sure I would never experience. But, I had no social skills and was uncomfortable in this new environment." 

"My first friend was Lucius Malfoy. He was surprisingly kind and I soon became a protégé of sorts. He introduced me to his friends and showed me the 'ways of the world.' At least the ways of our small part of it." 

Hermione had a hard time imagining that Lucius Malfoy had ever been kind, but kept her opinions to herself. 

"I was never permitted to go into Hogsmeade like the other students. I had to sneak out, much like Potter in his third year. I could never visit with Lucius or any of the other students at their homes. On breaks and during the summer, I was, once again, restricted to the manor grounds. During our seventh year, Lucius returned from the winter holidays bursting with pride. He had met someone who promised him wonderous things. He wouldn't elaborate on these things, just said he would tell me later. He did tell me he could arrange a meeting of my own. Lucius had returned with several portkeys. We used the passageways under the castle to go into Hogsmeade and portkeyed out from there. That was the night I met Voldemort. He promised me freedom. I would have the freedom to come and go as I pleased. I would be able to live my life without my parents dictating where I went and what I did." 

"He convinced me that they were not thinking of my safety, only of the safety of their fortune, of their bloodline. He pointed out to me, and rightly so, that I would be married off upon my graduation to an available witch with the proper social standing and expected to sire an heir. I would be studded out like a dog. I left that night with a more warped view of my family, of my world. I took the mark on my second meeting with him. At graduation I informed my parents I would not be returning with them to the manor. I also told them I had no intention of taking a bride of their choosing. That I was a man and could make my own decisions about my life. I also told them I was quite aware that upon my majority, which had been a month before, I now had access to a sizable portion of the family fortune. When my father, furiously backed me up against the wall, I shoved him to the ground. I pulled my sleeve up and showed my mark. I told him that I had a new family. My parents have never spoken to me since. " 

Hermione was curious. "What did Voldemort promise Lucius?" 

Snape smirked at this. "I discovered that soon. The movement quickly grew. The meetings became violent. Muggle torture, rape, unforgivables, I'm sure you know the things that went on. I participated when I had to. I had seen others refuse, and I had seen them die. During these meetings I realized there was a side to Lucius that I had never seen. He gloried in the violence, reveled in the blood and torture. He got off on the screams of the men and women as he raped them." He closed his eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath. "It was during the autumn after graduation that I discovered what Lucius had been promised. He had been promised…. Me. Voldemort had promised me to Lucius, to be his alone. By this time I knew to disobey Voldemort meant death. I submitted that night. The fact that I was to be owned by Lucius didn't change his demeanor though, didn't make me anymore valuable to him. That night I experienced the same treatment the muggles did. I can still remember those icy eyes, boring into me as he…." Severus stopped here and raised terrified eyes to Hermione. He was ashamed at the words he had spoken. This was a part of his life he had never shared with anyone but Albus. "I didn't want that. I never wanted that." 

Hermione nodded and reached out to grasp a cold hand. Severus took another deep breath and continued his tale. 

"The only thing that made me different than the muggles was that I was to live. Lucius wanted me and he assured me that the night's events would be repeated over and over again. Neither Voldemort nor Lucius saw any reason to bind me or imprison me. They were sure that I would never seek to flee from them. They were wrong. I returned that night to Albus, broken and bleeding. He took me in and gave me a position here, a life. He protected me with his own magic until Voldemort was seemingly destroyed by Potter. He saw me through the hard times and stood beside me when others sought to destroy me. When it became clear that Voldemort had returned and was attempting to pull the Deatheaters back together, Albus approached me about becoming a spy for the order. I agreed and at Voldemort's call apparated to the feet of the Dark Lord. Only now, I was valuable to Voldemort, even more so than Lucius. I was close to the two biggest threats to The Dark Lord's reign, Albus and Potter. I returned to the fold, not as Lucius' pet, but as a key player in the war to come. I believe you know the rest of the story." 

Severus noticed when the room grew warmer. He assumed it had something to do with the weight that seemed lifted from his soul. 

Upstairs, though, Salazar Slytherin burst through the wall into the Headmaster's office. "Albus, he told her." 

"What are you going on about, Salazar? Who told who what?" 

The ghost flitted around the room excitedly. "The Granger girl. She asked him straight out, 'Why did you become a Deatheater,' or something like that. She has a lot of nerve, that one does. He told her _everything._ My Gods, Albus, he told her things I didn't even know. I had no idea…" 

The spirit finally flopped down into a chair and sat stunned. "I realize I know very little about him." 

The Headmaster nodded thoughtfully, "Most people know very little about our Potions Master. This is a good thing, him telling her. He's taken a big step, whether he realizes it or not." 

In the dungeons, the conversation continued. Severus looked the young witch in the face, "That is my story. I offer no excuses for what I did. I only have regrets. Now, Miss Granger, what's your story? Did you speak with your parents over break?" 

Hermione could see how frayed Severus' nerves had become and allowed the conversation to turn to her. "Yes, I spoke with them. It went exactly as I knew it would. They love me, they always will, but they can't support me in this 'foolish lifestyle.' My tuition is paid up until the end of the year. I have enough put aside to last until graduation. But, unless I can find a grant, or loan, or something, I will not be attending University in the fall. Perhaps I can work for a few years and save up. I'm going to speak with the Headmaster tomorrow and ask him to make some employment inquiries for me." Hermione tried to sound hopeful, but there was no light in her eyes. 

Severus rose and crossed the room to the bookshelves. He removed the backgammon board and sat at the table. As he set the game up, he smiled. "I told you, Miss Granger. Things have a way of working out. After all, magic is all around us." 

Hermione smiled and joined him at the table. "Three Point match, Professor?"

"No doubling." 


	6. Chapter 6

The Great Hall was emptying out from breakfast the next morning when Hermione approached the Head Table. "Headmaster, I was wondering if I could speak with you."

Albus smiled fondly at Hermione, "Of course, Miss Granger. You know I was just about to return to my office. Perhaps you would care to walk with me?"

Hermione nodded and did her best to smile, but Severus could see the tension in her face. He had been hoping to have a word with Albus himself, before Hermione spoke with him. 

On the walk to the Headmaster's office, Hermione filled Albus Dumbledore in on what had transpired during her holiday with her parents. 

The Headmaster sat quietly behind his desk, blue eyes deep in thought, a hand absently stroking the tip of his beard. Hermione was sitting before him, valiantly controlling her tears and waiting for a miracle.

Albus' exterior was silent, but inside, thoughts and ideas raged against one another. He knew the young witch was anxious to attend a school of higher learning. Her intelligence fairly demanded it. But, the Headmaster had been dreading her graduation and ultimate departure of Hogwarts. 

He knew that his young Potions Master's road to happiness lay in Hermione. Severus had sacrificed his freedom, his honor, and his very soul in the battle for light. Now that the battle was over, Severus deserved that happiness; even if it cost Hermione a small measure of hers.

With a troubled sigh, he made his offer. "I have been contemplating the addition of a new class to the Hogwarts curriculum for several years now. While Voldemort lived, I felt it might not be the most prudent thing to do, considering his feelings about muggles. But, perhaps it's now time. I can offer you a job and home here, Miss Granger. Teaching Muggle Studies. As a muggle born, there is no need for any further preparation for you to teach this subject."

Hermione looked shocked at the words coming from the Headmaster's mouth. He was offering her a job and a home. Her initial elated reaction melted away at the realization there would be no university, no degree. She would be safe, she would have money, and she would be forever the muggle-born. 

Her reply was quiet and carefully weighed. "Thank you Headmaster. It's a generous offer. I would ask for a little while to think it over." 

There was no disguising the sadness on her face as she rose from her chair. "Take all the time you need, Miss Granger. I'm sorry I can't be of more assistance." Albus loathed himself for the false statement. As the door to his office swung closed, the slam of his fist against the desktop echoed. He could be of more assistance, but at what cost to Severus? The fates seemed to be pointing in this direction, but what if he was wrong? 

Before he could contemplate things further, a knock was heard. Severus Snape didn't wait for an invitation, just glided into the room

"May I have a moment of your time, Headmaster?"

"Of course, dear boy," Albus motioned to the chair Hermione had been sitting in. "Please, take a seat. You just missed Miss Granger."

Severus noted the chair was still warm beneath him, and her scent lingered in the air. He quickly shook himself from his short reverie and cleared his throat. "I waited until she left. She is what I wanted to speak to you about."

"Do tell, Severus. Please, continue."

Severus took a moment and gathered his thoughts. "I know she spoke to you about the situation with her parents. She is quite concerned that she will not be able to attend university in the fall."

Albus nodded. "She is most likely correct."

Severus' eyes narrowed a bit. "There are numerous ways that she could be assisted, Albus. That's why I am here."  
  


Albus' blue eyes began to twinkle, a sign to Severus that the old man was meddling again. "I have offered her a position here at the castle, Severus. Teaching Muggle Studies. She will be cared for."

Severus was instantly furious and on his feet. "What do you mean you offered her a position? She doesn't want to remain here at the castle. She needs to get away from here and experience the world. Not sheltered and protected like she was a child."

Albus knew he had struck a nerve. He should have anticipated this reaction from the Potions Master. Before he could think of a response, Severus was continuing.

"You will call her back here, Albus. I will pay for her education. Tell her that you have discovered a scholarship set up by the Hogwarts founders. Tell her it's a student loan to be paid back at a later date. Tell her she won the damned lottery. Do NOT tell her it is I. She will have her education and she will live her life. She will have the life she deserves and not live it rotting at this school."

Now, it was Albus' turn to be angry. "You will watch your tone with me, Professor Snape. I am still Headmaster of this school." Black eyes glittered dangerously at the Headmaster. Albus closed his eyes and took a deep, healing breath. It would do no good to have Severus quit. "I will make your offer, but I will not withdraw mine. It should be up to Miss Granger whether she remains here or leaves. Neither one of us should presume to know her heart. No more than we want her to know what lies in ours."

Albus' words hit Severus like a ton of bricks, as they were intended to. Severus couldn't trust his voice right then, since such a huge lump had formed in his throat. He nodded once, turned, and swept out of the room.

She came to him that night, around eight pm. Hermione had been absent at dinner and Severus was concerned. At Severus' prompting, Albus had called Harry to the front of the Great Hall and inquired as to Hermione's whereabouts. Hermione had gone for a walk just before dinner. She had told Harry she wasn't hungry and had some things to think about.

Severus had been ready to leave immediately and search for her, but Albus stilled him with a hand on his arm. "She needs to think, Severus."

Severus had been donning his cloak after an hour of pacing, when her knock came.

Severus ushered her inside and immediately floo'd a request for a bowl of rich, hot stew. Despite her protests, Hermione was soon sitting on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket and eating her supper. Her wet cloak lay steaming over a chair in front of the fire.

Severus sat at the opposite end of the sofa, a brandy in his hand. "Pray-tell, Miss Granger, how did you manage to get so wet?"

Hermione flushed and examined the broth in the bottom of her bowl. "I slipped on some ice and fell into a drift," she replied, mumbling.

"What in the Gods names were you doing outside in this frigid weather to begin with?"

Brown eyes met black, "I spoke with the Headmaster today; twice, in fact. I have some decisions to make."

Severus raised one eyebrow. "Decisions about what?"

"I have been offered both a job here at Hogwarts and a scholarship to the school of my choice."

"What decision is there? Of course you will be going to university."

It was Hermione's turn to raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean 'of course'. No, not 'of course.' I'm thinking I may stay here. The school has become home to me, and I've found myself growing rather attached to it. I feel safe here, content, and secure."

"Safe and secure? You don't know what the hell you are talking about. You can't stay here. You need to leave, to see the world. You don't know what life is about in the wizarding world. You were raised a muggle. Live life out there, don't throw it away here."

"I don't know about life? I beg to differ with you. I have spent seven years in this world. I fought in a war in this world. I watched friends die in this world" Hermione's eyes were alive with fury and passion as they locked to his. "I fell in love in this world."

In her final words, everything grew blazingly clear to Severus; as well as the steps he must take. "Your adolescent love life is of no concern to me, Miss Granger; nor your childish infatuations." Hermione clamped her mouth shut, and stared into the fire. Her eyes shimmered with tears, but she did not let a single one fall.

Severus' chest was constricted tightly, so that he could hardly breathe. He rose to his feet, finished his drink in one swallow and set the snifter on the table "I'm afraid I am not up to the game tonight. In fact, I'm growing quite weary of it overall. Please, finish your meal and see yourself out. I will send you a message if I feel like playing again." He strode through the doorway to his bedroom and shut the door quietly behind him.

Hermione set her bowl on the floor and walked silently to the door. Carefully, with purpose, she walked up to Gryffindor tower. Any uncalculated movement would have the tears she was struggling with running free. Without taking the time to remove the silk Pajamas, she crawled into her bed, dropped the curtains, and cast a silencing spell. In the dark, she finally allowed the tears to fall.

Salazar had followed the young witch, worried for her safety given her obvious distress. Once she was safely in her bed, he appeared in the Potions Master's dark bedroom, furious and spoiling for a fight. "Snape, you ARE a snake-fucking idiot. What the hell were you thinking? How could you talk to her like that? It's no Gods damned wonder you sleep alone every damned night. She as much as told you she was ripe and ready to go."

Severus sat propped up against the headboard, staring into the darkness. His voice was quiet and carefully guarded. "No, Sal, she as much as told me she loves me. There is a difference."

The ghost threw himself across the foot of the bed, a translucent arm slung over his eyes. With a wave of his transparent wand, the fire roared to life in the hearth. "Not where it counts; either way you would have ended up in here. Lying on this bed with that gorgeous little witch, not a centuries old dead wizard."

"Yes, and what would have happened in the morning?"

"You would have kicked her out on her arse and awarded her an A in Potions?" Salazar lifted his head a looked hopefully at Severus.

Black eyes blazed back at him in the firelight.

"OK, maybe that wouldn't have worked for you. Hmmm….. how about, you would have spent the next hundred years or so shagging her senseless every night?"

Severus sighed heavily. "That's a little closer. I could never let her go. I would have kept her here with me and the rest of the world be-damned."

"And the problem with that is…….?"

"She would grow to hate me. She'd never see the world, never experience her life; never be all that she could be. She would despise me for it. I couldn't do that to her. She has her whole, bright and brilliant life ahead of her. No, this ends here."

Salazar sat up, pondering Severus' words for a moment. "Don't you think that decision should be hers?"

Severus stood up and removed his robes. "No, she's too young and too starry eyed. I have to be the one to make the choice for her." Severus grabbed his robe from the closet and started for the bathroom.

He stopped dead in his tracks. "Isn't that the same as your parents making choices for you?"

"Fuck off, Sal." Before the ghost could react, Severus had pulled his wand. The spirit found himself in the dungeon corridor, and the Potions Master's rooms warded.


	7. Chapter 7

_"One more month. One more month and this hell will be over. She will be gone and my life can resume. Or is that when it ends? The edges have become so blurred?"_

  
Severus Snape sat behind his desk and surveyed the bowed heads before him. The only sound in the room came from the scratches of quill to parchment. It wasn't enough to drown out the noise in his head, though. 

  
For two weeks she had worn the necklace he had given her for Christmas. Her robes were left open at the neck so he could see it dangling, teasing him, emeralds winking. Then the day came where his eyes had dropped to her cleavage, searching for the glint of gold and finding none. His eyes rose to her face and were locked on hers. He found eyes that were cold and defiant. She had looked from him then and he knew that she had moved on.  
  


Severus wished it were that easy for him. He wished that the simple act of breaking the Phoenix feather quill would end the longing he felt. But it hadn't and two days later it lay whole again on his desk, repaired by his own wand and a constant, physical reminder of Hermione. 

  
They had spent several months now avoiding each other entirely. Hermione no longer raised her hand in class, anxious to answer a question or volunteer information. Severus no longer called on her out of the blue, hoping to catch her unprepared and in need of an answer to a question. So the winter had passed, cold and lonely for both. 

  
Outside the castle, the world had come alive once again. Spring had come to Hogwarts and with it the excitement of the final exams for the Seventh years and their entrance into adult wizarding society. Soon, Hermione would be leaving the castle and with her, she would unknowingly take a very large piece of his heart. The reality was brought home when his eyes settled on the Gryffindor. As if he had touched her, her head jerked up and their eyes met. This meeting of eyes was all it took. This unexpected connection of souls across the classroom left both of them exposed and the longing hung heavily in the air between them once again. In the depths of each other's eyes, each saw the truth and recognized the feelings still reflected in them. The time apart had changed nothing. 

  
Suddenly short of breath, Severus rose quickly to his feet. "Out, all of you. Finish your essays and have them to me at the start of class tomorrow. Get out now." He didn't wait to assure everyone left. He just turned on his heel and exited into his office with a slam of the door. 

  
Severus wasn't the only one affected by the unspoken communication. Long after the room emptied, she sat at her desk, staring at his office door. For the first time in months she had seen a glimpse of the man she knew existed under the Professor. This was the man she had fallen in love with and it was the same man who took that love and threw it back in her face. She had spent weeks believing that it was all a mistake; that he didn't really mean to hurt her. She had expected to hear him begging for her forgiveness and proclaiming his love to her. When no such proclamations came, her reaction became defensive. It was fine if he didn't want her. But she would waste no more time and energy on tears and desperation. She became cold and aloof, much like the master himself. 

  
Now, in a moment of mutual realization, the ice was thawed and the feeling of emptiness once again permeated every pore of her body. His eyes had told his story to her. She knew he had felt it too, and that he was still drawn to her. Still, he fought her. Still, he ran. 

  
_"He can run, but he can't hide."_ Her jaw set in determination, she made her way to his office door. To knock, to request entrance, would give him the opportunity to deny her. She would not be turned away. 

  
Severus didn't look up as his office door swung wide. He sat at his desk, head bowed and fingers grasping at his scalp. He didn't have to look; the rush of air from the classroom carried her scent with it, gardenias. "May I help you, Miss Granger?"

  
Hermione didn't respond as she took the hard, wooden chair opposite his desk. Nor did she respond when he repeated the question, his tone high and stressed. It wasn't until he brought his dark eyes up to meet hers that she uttered a sound. It was a moan, not of passion, but of despair and guilt. His black eyes were desperate and filled with pain. It was pain that she had placed there, merely by her forced presence in the room. 

Hermione ducked her head, suddenly embarrassed at her boldness. "I'm sorry." 

  
Severus knit his brows in confusion. "What do you have to be sorry about? You've done nothing. It is I who should apologize. I never should have spoken to you the way I did. Things… we…" he was tripping over his words, "this thing felt out of control." Hermione smiled at this acknowledgment that there was something going on, even if neither of them could pin a word to it. 

  
Severus sighed heavily and shook his head. "Don't smile, Hermione. This is not a good thing. Nothing can happen between the two of us. Nothing! I am your teacher and you are my student." 

  
"Only for another month." 

  
"It makes no difference. You will be going on to University…" 

  
"You don't know that. It's not your decision to make." 

  
Severus' faced flushed red with anger and Hermione could see him struggling to control his temper. When he spoke, it was in a soft, measured, and controlled tone, "You are absolutely correct, it's not my decision to make. I only want what is best for you." 

  
"Then let me stay here at the castle. Let me teach. Or, I can go to University and still remain here…" she stopped for a pause and then added quietly, "…with you." 

  
"I don't want you here with me." The words were no sooner said before he regretted them. As Hermione's eyes welled with tears, he was around the desk and before her on one knee. With gentle pressure under her chin, Severus tilted her head up. Soft fingers swept the hair from where it had fallen in front of her eyes. "I don't want you to waste yourself here. There is so much out there for you. I want you to see and do everything, everything that I didn't do. I want to hear about it all. I want you to tell me everything. I want owls from you filled with life, your life." 

  
Hermione's eyes closed and with them, the tears were forced out to run freely down her cheeks. The effort to contain her sobs by biting her lower lip failed miserably. "I don't understand." 

  
Looking at the wetness on her cheeks, Severus forgot how wrong it was. He gave not one thought to consequences. He simply could not turn away from her tears. Hermione found herself enfolded in strong arms while a soft voice attempted to soothe her. "I know you don't understand, dear one. That's part of the problem. Someday, years from now, you will understand." 

  
If Hermione heard him, he never knew. She didn't acknowledge the statement, or argue as to its wrong or rightness. When her tears had spent themselves against his robes, she pulled herself back from him. With a small hand she reached to cup a whisker-rough cheek while she looked him steadily in the eye. "I'm making no decisions now. The Headmaster says I have until the morning after the Leaving Feast to give him my choice. I know you think me a child," she smiled sadly, "But the day will come, Severus Snape, that you will know I'm not." A fleeting touch of her lips to his forehead, and she was gone, leaving Severus to stare at the closed door and murmur, "Of that I have no doubt." 

  
Had Severus followed Hermione from the dungeons that afternoon he would have seen a figure step out of the shadows beneath the stairs and follow her silently through the castle.


	8. Chapter 8

The final month of Hermione's seventh year passed in a blur. After she finished her final NEWT, she sat near the lake, deep in thought. The weeks had been filled with studying and preparation for her final step into adult life. Always on her mind was the decision about her future, and intertwined into that was Severus.  
  


The dying sun shone golden across the water, sparkling and rippling with life. Hermione wished her heart could dance like that. She knew that it should be. There was no doubt in her mind that the testing had gone well. Even though her last private contact with the Potions Master had been a sort of healing for them, things were far from being settled. The unrest in her heart kept her awake at night, as she knew it did Severus. Many early morning hours found her sitting at the dormitory window with a book in her lap. Her eyes didn't follow the words on her page. They followed the dark, lone figure tracing its way along the lakeshore. Pride kept her inside the tower. She was certain that had she visited him in the dark depths of the night that she would not be turned away. She wanted more though; more than what could be found hidden in the darkness. She wanted the days and the light, too. She wanted his life, his love, and his future. She wanted it all and until he was willing to give it, she would not bend. 

  
Hermione was surprised she didn't hear his approach. She jumped slightly when the dark fabric came into her peripheral view. Looking up at him, she could only see darkness eclipsing the warm light. When he lowered himself to her level, she saw the same warmth in his eyes. "Your Potions Newts were the highest this year. Actually, you scores are the highest in many years." Hermione frowned slightly, shrugged her shoulders, and returned her gaze to the water. "I've forwarded them along to the Dean and I imagine you'll be receiving your owl from the school soon." 

  
"Are you still trying to map out my life?" 

  
"I'm just trying to assure that you have a life. Why do you insist on fighting me in this? You know that I care about you and that I only want what is best for you." 

  
Hermione's eyes blazed as she turned on him. "Why do you insist I am fighting against you? I'm fighting for you, you bloody stubborn, bat. What life do you have? You spend your days hiding away in the dungeons and your nights roaming the grounds. You spend your life alone. It doesn't have to be that way, Severus. Why won't you let me in?" She refused the burning in her sinuses, willed the tears not to reach her eyes. She had shed enough and she would not show him anymore. 

  
Severus' temper flared at her, met hers with the same strength. "I have let you in. I let you in and you've made my life hell." He ignored the hurt on her face. "I was perfectly happy spending my evenings alone. I was perfectly happy not feeling. But, you changed all that. Every waking moment of my life is now one giant ball of pain. I ache for you every second, Hermione. I want to snatch you away and drag you down into my world and hold you there forever." 

  
"I would go, willingly. Take me there, Severus." Hermione moved closer to him, her body unconsciously straining to close the distance. Her voice was softer now, more pliable; filling his senses and turning them to muck. "It doesn't have to be dark. I can show you life, as it should be; with a family, and love, and happiness." 

  
Severus groaned at this. His body had responded to her words and the invitation that they carried. The fury was changing and Severus was hard pressed to resist the mutation. Anger turned to lust and fists that were clenched in anger unraveled and itched to reach for her. When he spoke, it was a struggle and the sound was raspy. "Don't do this to me Hermione. I can't do this. Not now." Even as he spoke the words, he was reaching for her, pulling her to him. Inside, the basest man that he was screamed at him. Telling him the testing was over and she was a student no more. He listened to the voice, as his hands traced slow paths up and down Hermione's sides. 

  
From windows far above them several sets of eyes were watching. Blue eyes twinkled and a soft smile graced an old wizard's face. 

  
In another area, noncorporal eyes watched as a haunting chuckle was heard. "Finally, Snape. Got for it man! Don't blow it now. Oh, if only I had my body back. I could show that chit a thing or too about Slytherin prowess." 

  
In the grass, one body found another and Severus felt her pulse in her neck, beating strongly beneath his questing lips. He could feel the heat of her, even through their robes. Her hips were grinding upward, seeking out his, and searching for some sort of friction. Finding none, she cried out in desperation. One elegant hand snaked out, lifted the hem of her student robe and found the velvety skin of her thighs. 

  
The final set of eyes burned with hatred as they watched their Potions Master giving in to his instincts. "Filthy, disgusting, Mudblood whore." 

  
Hermione whimpered beneath him and her breathy gasps only fueled his fire. Severus' head rose to look at the flushed face of the woman beneath him. The hand on the back of his head brought his face to hers and she closed her eyes, anticipating their first, sweet and needy, kiss. 

  
Suddenly, the warmth of his body was torn from hers. Confused and dazed, Hermione struggled to sit up. Severus' hands had moved from their exploration to grasp her shoulders brutally. "Gods, Hermione! What are you doing to me?" He struggled, fighting his lust and slowly regaining the part of him that was honorable. "I can't do this. Not now, not here." The hurt on her face caused his grip to soften. "Someday, but not now, the time isn't right." 

Once again, passions changed. Hermione was once again furious. She wrenched herself from his grasp and leapt to her feet. "Why do you insist on making my decisions for me?" 

  
Severus' eyes closed and his hair fell like a curtain around his down turned face. "No, Hermione, not for you. I'm making the decision for me." 

  
All that met him was a sigh of disgust and the sound of her feet walking swiftly back to the castle. From Gryffindor Tower a pair of green eyes watched with shock. 

  
It didn't take Harry long to find her. The library was empty. The student's use of it for the year was now over. She sat in a corner, hidden by the rows of books. He was surprised to see her eyes were dry. Harry wasn't sure what all had been said by the lake, but the scene that had played out spoke volumes. He had never seen his friend in that light. The thought of her being a desirable woman was new to him and he found himself uncomfortable with the idea. 

  
Hermione looked up as he approached and Harry didn't imagine the brief flash of disappointment when she saw it was he. "Mmm, Hermione. I wasn't spying or anything, but… well… IsawyouandSnapeatthelake." 

  
Hermione scoffed at him. "What of it, Harry?" 

  
"Well, it just looked like you might need someone to talk to right now. You know we've hardly talked at all this spring. I guess I know why now. I don't understand though." 

  
Hermione sighed and gestured to the seat beside her. "There's nothing to understand. I can't explain it to you and I'm not even going to try. Yes, I love him and yes, I think he loves me. Still, he pushes me away and insists on my leaving him." 

  
Harry took one of her hands in his. "Are you leaving him?" 

  
Finally, the burning overtook her and the tears began to fall. Harry did the only thing he could think of. He held his best friend until her sobs subsided. Nothing felt different, she was still Hermione to him and he couldn't imagine the appeal to the Potions Master. The thoughts were pushed away as Hermione spoke; voice muffled a bit in his robes. "I don't know. I have until tomorrow night to decide. I can stay here and teach or go on to University. The scholarship is in place. I want to stay, but I can't be here and see him and not be with him. Gods, I don't know. I can't even think any more." 

  
Harry pushed her back gently and swept the hair from her face. With the sleeve of his robe, he gently wiped the tears from her face. "Don't think about it for a while, then. Go take a bath or something and clear your head. I still can't say I understand any of this, but I know you need to relax." 

  
Hermione nodded and smiled shyly. "See you at dinner?" 

  
"See you at dinner." 

  
Harry sat alone in the library for quite a while and tried to understand what he had seen and heard that afternoon. He wasn't surprised when the Headmaster joined him. "How is Miss Granger?" 

  
Harry glared at the old wizard. "How do you think she is? A member of the staff takes advantage of her? She's bloody well confused. So am I for that matter. How could you let this happen?" 

  
Albus smiled gently. "I let nothing happen. Things such as these happen on their own. They have a life of their own. It's not up to you or me to understand them or to approve of them. For the record, your friend has not been taken advantage of. Professor Snape has acted honorably, despite the volatile emotions that are surrounding both of them. All Hermione needs from you right now is support. The fates will see their way no matter how hard the two of them fight. The road for them may be short, or long and rocky. But, it's their road to travel, together and apart." 

  
Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, thank you Headmaster. That cleared everything up for me." 

  
"Sarcasm has never been your strong suit, Mr. Potter"  
  
Later that evening, the Great Hall filled with happy students. The term was almost complete. Graduation ceremonies were to be the next day, followed by the Leaving feast. 

  
Severus would have chosen to remain in his quarters that evening, but he knew his presence was expected and had no desire to be summoned by the Headmaster like an errant child. He chose to slip quietly into the Hall from the back door. As he took his seat, his eyes scanned the throng of students. As the meal began, he watched as Harry Potter left the Hall, a concerned look on his face. Hermione wasn't present at the meal and Severus could only assume that the Potter boy was going to seek her out. He returned a short time later and moved directly to the Head Table and the seat of the Headmaster. Still, Hermione had not arrived. 

  
Severus responded quickly when Albus motioned for him to join them. Harry was highly agitated and spoke quickly. "Have you seen Hermione since this afternoon at the lake?" 

  
Severus' mouth gaped open but no words emerged. "Come off it, Snape. I saw you, yes. But there are more important things at this second. I can't find her." 

  
"What do you mean you can't find her?" Severus' mind and mouth were quickly engaged. 

  
"I mean she's gone. Not in the common room, not in the library, not in the dorm, not at the lake. She's gone and no one's seen her." 

  
Severus quickly scanned the room, making mental notes as to what students were present and what students were not. He felt his heart clench and his blood run cold as his eyes settled on the Slytherin table. 

  
Draco Malfoy and several other Slytherin students were missing.  
  



	9. Chapter 9

Eyes of green and eyes of blue followed Severus' to the Slytherin table. "It would seem Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Crabbe, and Mr. Goyle are also missing from the meal," the Headmaster noted quietly.

"I'll kill the little son-of-a-bitch." Harry started in the direction of the Slytherin table, wand clenched furiously in his hand, clearly ready to hex anyone who got in his way. Before he could reach his destination, he found himself grasped harshly, wedged between the bodies of the Headmaster and the Potions Master, and ushered quickly out of the Great Hall. They dragged him, all but kicking and screaming, into the first empty classroom.

Once inside, Snape turned on him furiously. "Are you daft, boy? What do you think you were doing?"

"I was finding out where Hermione is; someone has to know something."

"And you thought you would just rush into their midst and force it out of them. You imbecile, these are Slytherins. You are Gryffindor. You would have accomplished nothing and possibly put Miss Granger in even more danger than she probably is in already."

Albus stood quietly in the corner of the room, eyes closed, and mouth moving quickly in almost imperceptible tones. Severus and Harry watched until the old wizard opened his eyes and shook his head sadly. "If she is still on the castle grounds, she is being protected by very powerful magic. I seriously doubt her own magic could repel my location spells." Albus took a deep breath and pulled himself up, much like a general. "So, we search for her the old-fashioned way."

"Severus, I will return to the Great Hall and direct the other houses to their common rooms. Interrogate your Slytherins and find out if anyone, indeed, knows anything. I will speak to the rest of the staff and have them begin a floor-by-floor search of the castle. Harry, you will go directly to my office and remain there until we return." 

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but took one look at the men in the room and knew it was in vain. He paused at the doorway and turned round on Severus. "I swear, I'll kill them if they've hurt her. She's all I have left."

"Sorry, boy, you'll have to stand in line." Black eyes glittered dangerously and Harry could see in them something he had never seen before; fear. He didn't have time to ponder it as Snape swept past him and down the hallway. 

In the Great Hall, the houses were quickly dispatched to their common rooms. Snape was waiting when the group of Slytherins entered. "You will all sit down, now." He was met with curious glances, but the room quickly quieted as all found a seat and waited. 

"Now, then, it appears there were several students absent from this evening's meal. Several members of your house and one Gryffindor have gone missing. I am not making any assumptions or accusations. I am going to my office, where I will call each one of you, one at a time. Upon the conclusion of your 'meeting' with me you are to return to your house and remain there until a member of the staff returns. Understood?" A mass of nodding heads met his appraisal.

Severus sat in his office, while child after child filed in and filed out. Their head of house questioned each one quickly and efficiently. They were true Slytherins, protecting their own, as each one proclaimed to have no knowledge of the whereabouts of the missing students. No interrogation or threats were effective and no leads turned up. Either no one knew anything, or they were being very, very careful.

Severus was furious and frustrated as he left his office and quickly flew up the passageway. So lost in thought about Hermione, he literally tripped over the small, First Year Slytherin, hiding in the shadows at the foot of the dungeon stairs. "Mr. Merrick, you were told to return to your dorms. That will be 20 points from Slytherin for disobeying your head of….."

"Wait, Professor Snape, sir." The young boy was almost shaking in the face of Severus' fury. Still, he spoke up, "I heard something, sir. Some of the older students, they were talking in the common room when I returned. I couldn't hear everything, but they were talking about a mudblood and a chamber. That's all I heard, Professor. I thought you should know."

Severus had backed the Merrick boy up against the stone wall as he rattled out his information. Now, he towered over the boy. After a glance over his shoulder, he spoke in a low, hushed tone, "Who were these students you overheard?'

The young Slytherin did not flinch now, even in the face of the former Deatheater, "I'm sorry sir, I don't know their names."

"I don't suppose that you could identify them by looks, either," Severus asked with a knowing smirk.

"No, sir, I don't suppose that I could." The child struggled to get his point across, while still upholding a sense of honor to his house. "The Gryffindors aren't all bad, sir. That muggle-born, Hermione, she was always nice to me. She even helped me once with my Charms work. And Potter, a parselmouth in Gryffindor. When I found that out, Sir, I was quite surprised. He must have had quite an adventure in his second year. I wonder if he could open the chamber again, if it was needed?" 

Severus nodded his head in understanding and with a flourish of black, moved away from the student. "Very well, Mr. Merrick. Return to your common room at once."

The boy took off at a run down the dark, stone corridor. He skidded to a stop and turned at the commanding voice. "Oh, and Mr. Merrick."

"Yes, Sir?"

"Well done." Severus allowed the boy a rare smile before turning to take the steps two at a time.

He entered Albus' office to find the Headmaster waiting and Harry pacing the floor impatiently.

Severus wasted not one second. "They've taken her to the Chamber of Secrets."

The weight of his words dropped almost audibly. Albus had ordered the chamber sealed following Harry's second year. Together, the staff had focused their magic and warded the entrance. 

"That's impossible." Harry's voice was quiet and strained now, and his face had gone a ghastly gray color.

The headmaster's face was drained of color as well. "Normally, I would agree with you, Harry. Severus, where did you get this information?"

Severus gave a half smile and shook his head. The boy had taken risks in coming to him and he would protect him. "I believe the source to be accurate," was the only explanation.

Harry dropped heavily into a chair. He was speaking quietly, almost to himself. "Impossible. Malfoy couldn't break the wards on the entrance. We tried; Hermione, Ron, and I, we tried and they held." 

Albus' eyes widened in shock. "What do you mean you tried?" The Headmaster's face was a furious red now. "Did you return to the Chamber after it was sealed? Harry, what were you thinking?"

Frightened eyes look through round-rimmed glasses. "We didn't return. We couldn't. We just wanted to make sure it was sealed once and for all."

Severus was on Harry in a flash, dragging him up by his collar. Harry's feet dangled several inches off the floor and he could feel the hot breath of the Potions Master in his face. "You complete idiot. You may not have broken the wards, but you may have weakened them. Always playing with things you don't understand. If she dies, I swear I'll…."

"Put him down, Snape." A commanding voice floated through the Headmaster's office. Harry's feet hit the floor hard and he stumbled around, gaping, trying to see the source.

A shimmering light appeared in the center of the room. Slowly, it took on a human shape and as the mists whirled, the figure of a wizard appeared. 

Albus chuckled. "Harry, I would like you to meet Salazar Slytherin. Sal, this is Harry Potter."

Sal very rarely allowed himself to be seen. The sight of him was imposing to say the least. He towered over Severus by several inches. Long, black hair and beard covered a long, thin face. Flowing robes of dark green moved as the spirit floated across the room, coming to a stop in front of the trembling young wizard. "I know who he is. I've been watching him run roughshod over this castle for the last seven years. Bending the rules, and sneaking around." Sal's face suddenly broke out into a grin. "Reminded me quite a bit of myself, actually." Harry turned up his lip in disgust at the observation.

With a deep, baritone laugh, the spirit of the House of Slytherin turned and faced the Headmaster. "The boy did not weaken your wards, Albus. There is another entrance to the chamber. Godric, the insufferable prat, was always watching the comings and goings down there. So, I created a second entrance, from the back, to sneak in my 'entertainment'."

It was Severus' turn to drop into a chair. "Oh, Sal," he groaned, "Why didn't you tell anyone? We needed that Chamber sealed."

"No one knew of it but me. I still like to go down there from time to time and reminisce. I never imagined anyone would find their way in there. They have though. This evening, that silver haired demon and his imbecile cohorts came down there lugging a bag between them. Imagine my surprise when they opened the top and a very naked little Gryffindor lioness was dumped out."

Severus was fairly furious at this report. "What the bloody hell are you doing here, Sal? You just left her there? Left her there with those animals?"

"Might I remind you, Severus, that those animals have been under your guidance for the last six and a half years or so? What was I to do? It's not something that we ghosts advertise in abundance, but our magic is very limited when it comes to dealing with mortals. I'm afraid I could do little more than come for help. I'm sorry."

"Oh, so then this is my fault. I should have guided them away from the darkness that their own parents were feeding them. I should have reformed them and kept them honorable. Let's not forget that I should paved their road to glory, made sure they followed the straight and narrow, and polished their halos myself while keeping up the appearance of being Voldemort's lap dog. Oh, yes…."

Harry couldn't keep quiet at Severus' little tirade. "Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Well, I don't think anyone twisted your arm convincing you to take that mark. You put yourself in that position, Snape. As for you, you miserable excuse for a spirit, are you daft? How could you keep that chamber entrance a secret? Speaking of the chamber, I have a bone to pick with you about a certain basilisk…."

"Oh, don't start about that fucking basilisk." Salazar was spoiling for a fight. "I'll have you know I didn't put…"

"Yeah, the basilisk. You know that creature that almost mmmmmpppppppfffffffffffffff………………"

Snape slapped a hand over Harry's mouth. "You stay out of this, you little brat. This is between Sal and I. You have…"

"Enough!" Albus roared, furious at the childish display of the wizards in front of him. "If you three are finished with your temper tantrum, I believe there are more important things which need to be addressed. A certain seventh year female thing to be precise." Three properly chastised faces turned to him. "Now, Salazar, would you be so kind as to take us to the second chamber entrance?"

They made their way quickly through the empty hallways. Salazar led them down into the dungeon and up to the door of the Potions classroom. Once inside, he floated up to the fireplace and spoke the word, "Fellatio". Salazar shrugged away the shocked looks. "I had to use something that would never be spoken of in this room." The fireplace slid smoothly to one side, revealing a dark passageway.

Harry eyed the ghost suspiciously. "Then how did Draco figure out the password? Obviously he had to…" He trailed off at the raised eyebrow of the Potions Master. "Oh, nevermind, I don't even want to imagine what the Slytherins do in here after hours."

"I assure you, Mr. Potter, that if the Slytherins, or any other students for that matter, are having illicit meetings in this room, it is completely without my knowledge. I do have to sleep sometime."

Harry opened his mouth and quickly snapped it back shut at a warning look from the Headmaster. Nonetheless they all heard him mumble something to the effect of "I thought bats were awake feeding all night," as they stepped into the dark corridor behind the fireplace. Choosing to ignore Harry, Severus fell in first behind the floating figure of Salazar Slytherin. Their illuminated wands shone on the path that twisted and turned through the bowels of the castle, ever sloping downward. The air steadily became cooler and soon they were trudging through several inches of water. Albus whispered a silencing spell and the sound of their splashing footsteps was instantly quieted. 

They came up to a bend in the passage and at Sal's whispered command they put out the light of their wands. They rounded the bend in the passageway and surveyed the chamber from a shadowy corner. 

Snape took a step, wand raised and ready for battle, only to be halted by Harry's hand on his arm. Harry shook his head and indicated with his hands that he would move off to the other side of the chamber. At Severus' nod of acceptance, the young wizard cast an invisibility spell and disappeared from sight. More gesturing between the Headmaster and Severus and the Potions Master was on his way to the front, similarly cloaked against detection. This gave him a front and center view of the scene before him.

Hermione levitated about three feet off the floor of the chamber, surrounded by Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy. She was naked, bound, gagged and lay on her back. She was quiet, but her eyes darted around frantically. Several bruises were beginning to darken her face and blood ran from her nose, down her cheek, and dripped to the floor below her. Severus struggled to detach himself from the sheer emotional fury that was running through him. He could do her no good if he rushed in in a vengeful rage. He tightened his grip on his wand and waited.

Malfoy was speaking in Latin and Severus recognized ancient purification spells. The blond passed his wand slowly over Hermione's body and then moved to each of the other two Slytherins. Finally, he purified himself. Draco jumped as the figure of Salazar Slytherin shimmered into view. Quickly, he pulled out a silver blade and held it to Hermione's throat. 

"Wait, boy," Salazar spoke commandingly, "What are you playing with in my chamber?"

Draco eyed the spirit suspiciously and as recognition lit his eyes, a proud and malicious smile broke. "Salazar Slytherin." The knife remained poised a hair's breadth from the witch's jugular. "Oh, this is an honor, sir. The ceremony will be that much more perfect with the Founder present."

"What ceremony is that? Explain your presence in my domain."

"Tonight, sir, the darkness reawakens and soon we will pave the road to domination once again."

"So, this road begins with the bullying of an innocent witch?"

"A mudblood, sir. She is a mudblood. Surely she is not innocent. They continue to pollute our race and they must be eradicated. Her life is the first of many to fall. You will be a witness and you will be proud."

Salazar was becoming agitated with Malfoy's erroneous assumptions. "Boy, I know what you have been taught about me. I assure you the rumors of my prejudice have been greatly exaggerated. The muggle-born witches and wizards are entitled to the same rights as the purebloods. Now, as your founder, I order you to release her and remove yourself from my presence."

The knife began to tremble as the blue eyes darkened with anger. "Well, it would seem that Slytherin is a fraud. No matter, then. A lot of research and preparation went into this ceremony, a lot of research into the spirit realm. You have no power over us, so just stand back and watch as she becomes fodder for the Dark One. Do not interfere; be quiet and observe. I have learned the banishment spells in my studies. It will be an easy enough job to end your travels on this plane, this plane and any other. You will just cease to be."

Salazar dropped his head, defeated, and moved to the side. 

The air began to swell with magic as Draco began to move his wand over Hermione's body once again. The knife remained in place, perilously close to her throat.

Malfoy called out to the darkness, and the magic crackling through the air was Dark Magic. He called to the spirit of his master, and the winds of magic began to swirl in the center of the chamber. It was visible now, glittering with power, crackling with energy, a vortex of darkness.

"Nos offerre spiritus servi dare libenter." **

Crabbe and Goyle stepped forward toward the swirling tornado of evil power. Crabbe produced another silver blade, handed it to his friend, and nodded his head. Turning, he knelt with his back to Goyle. "Ego relinquo meus animo. Id sum illud quod definire meus, confirmare  
meus, et concedere vesci."** Swiftly, Goyle wrenched Crabbe's head back and brought the knife neatly across his throat. The cut was deep, and blood poured, pulsing, from the gash. 

Every beat of Crabbe's failing heart pumped out a spurt of blood. With every pulse, the mass of magic began to take a shape. As the beat slowed, the coalescing magic took on a somewhat human form. As the dying wizard's heart took its last beat, there was a bright flash of light and the calling forth of the spirit was complete. The spirit of Voldemort floated in the center of the room. Serpentine eyes blazed a bright red as he spoke. "Well done, Draco. Finish it now."

Draco was grinning proudly, basking in his Dark Lord's glory. Goyle dropped the body of his schoolmate on the ground unceremoniously and moved to join Draco. The silvery-blue eyes closed and he began to concentrate once more.

"Ligare hic spiritus vita impurus. Sua viti captus ab vis."** Voldemort moved to Draco's side and place his hand on the breast of the terrified witch.

Severus' heart almost stopped in his chest. They were going to give Voldemort his life back, using Hermione as a catalyst for a living form. Before he could move, Salazar whipped into action. With a swoop, he crashed through Draco's body. The force of the ghost tearing through his body startled the young wizard and the knife clattered to the ground.

From the back of the chamber a voice cried out, "Stupefy." From the side, one answered, "Petrificus totalus." Draco and Goyle dropped to the floor. The spell was broken and the magic began to fail. Before anyone could move further, the spirit of Voldemort gave a pitiful cry of "NO!" and began to fade from sight. 

The levitation spell faltered with the binding of Draco Malfoy. Before Hermione could crash to the ground, Severus reinforced the spell with his own wand and ran up the aisle to her. Harry was at her side, untying her restraints as Severus removed the gag. Harry tried to pull Hermione to him, but she became feral in her struggles. She threw herself into the arms of the Potions Master. Harry looked first at Hermione, wrapped securely in Severus' arms and then to the face of the man that held her. Dark eyes were closed, but a small bit of wetness was at their corners. Without another thought to the others in the chamber, Severus sank to the floor and cradled Hermione in his lap.

She was sobbing openly now, her face buried in the folds of his robe. Harry conjured up a blanket, and covered her nakedness with it. Black eyes opened and met green as Severus inclined his head in thanks, before turning his attention, once again, to the woman he held. Soothing words of comfort fell from his lips as he rocked her. She was shaking hysterically and clinging to him desperately.

Harry moved away from them, and turned on the frozen figures of the Slytherins. His wand was tucked into his sleeve and he began his assault, physically, on Draco. Several well-placed kicks had a stream of blood pouring from the blond wizard's frozen mouth before the Headmaster could intercede. Albus stepped between Harry and Draco. "He is powerless now, Harry."

"Then release him, so I can beat the living hell out of him. I'll kill you, Malfoy, I'll kill you." Harry was trembling with the effort of containing himself.

"You will do no such thing. These two will be moved up to the castle and the ministry will deal with them. You will only find yourself in Azkaban sharing a cell with them if you continue. Now, move away before I am forced to bind you as well."

Harry walked to the far end of the chamber. Salazar moved with him, speaking quietly as the young wizard paced the floor. 

Hermione had calmed down a bit and Severus had succeeded in wrapping her up in the blanket. He stood now, holding her in his arms. With a nod from the Headmaster, he moved swiftly to the back of the chamber and toward the passage to the potions classroom.

He ran through the castle corridors, pausing long enough to tell a flustered Minerva McGonagall where Albus and Harry were. Minerva looked curiously at the girl Severus cradled with so much care. Hermione clung to him, resting her blood-crusted cheek against the wool of his robes. Her eyes were closed, and she looked somewhat at peace in the arms of the Potions Master. Minerva filed away any questions for a later time and ran off to call the staff and disembark for the Chamber of Secrets.

In the infirmary, the sound of the door being kicked open, almost off its hinges, brought Poppy scurrying out of her office. One look at the bundle in Severus' arms and she sprang into action.

"Lay her down here, Severus, and get my bag from my desk."

Hermione was placed gently on the bed but began to whimper as Severus tried to free himself from her clinging fingers. "Hermione, love, I'm not going anywhere now. Lie back and let Poppy tend to you."

"No, no, no, no. I can't… you can't…. Don't let me go." Her head was thrashing wildly from side to side. Severus struggled to hold her still in the bed, but she crawled wildly back into his arms. She cried out, a stream of incoherent pleas. Finally, he gave up on her lying still and sat, instead, on the bed, holding her once again.

Poppy took in the sight and nodded once. She ran to her office, only to return after a moment with her bag and a vial. The vial was thrust into Severus' hand and Poppy indicated that he get her to drink it. Poppy set her bag down and began rummaging through it.

Severus' long fingers uncorked the vial deftly, in one hand. "Drink this, Hermione." The girl began to struggle again, shaking her head and trying to push away the glass held against her lips. Severus freed his other hand and swept the tangled curls away from her face. He pinched her cheeks roughly, "Look at me, Hermione. Look at ME!" His voice was angry and intimidating. Her eyes opened and she locked eyes with Severus. When he had her attention, he spoke more gently. "Trust me. You're safe. You're in the infirmary. Now, drink this, please."

Hermione nodded slowly and opened her mouth. She grimaced as she swallowed, but drank the entire contents of the vial in one gulp. The vial was dropped to the floor and Poppy gave Severus a dirty look at the tinkle of breaking glass. Severus ignored her and wrapped Hermione securely in his arms once again. He could feel her body relaxing against him, the potion doing its work. When her breathing evened out, he stood, turned and laid her down on the bed once again. This time, she didn't fight, and just watched him with mournful eyes. 

Severus bent over her, and spoke with his mouth close to her ear. "I have to go help them move Malfoy and Goyle above ground." Her mews of protest were weak now. "Now, now, the chamber must be sealed for good this time. I will return. Let Poppy tend to your wounds." He smoothed her wet, sweaty hair off of her forehead and placed a gentle kiss in its place. "I will be back," he murmured against her flesh. Finally, she nodded and Severus straightened up. 

Severus turned to the Mediwitch and his dark eyes dared her to question him. Poppy's eyes moved between Hermione and Severus several times, considering. Finally, her mouth stiffened into a sharp line and she swept past the wizard, her attention on her injured patient.

He paused long enough at the doorway to turn and look one last time at the small figure lying in the bed. He took in the bruises and the blood and felt his temper flare once again. Harry had the right idea when he attacked Malfoy. Albus had been able to stop Harry, but he sincerely doubted the Headmaster would have been able to stop him from killing the boy. It was lucky for Malfoy that he had been so preoccupied with Hermione. It was lucky she had needed him. The thought brought a sad smile to his face. He turned and made his way back to the bowels of the castle, whispering words of thanks, to whatever Gods were listening, for her life.

**Translation

"Nos offerre spiritus servi dare libenter." 

We offer the spirit of a servant willingly given.  
  
  
"Ego relinquo meus animo. Id sum illud quod definire meus, confirmare  
meus, et concedere vesci." 

I surrender my soul. It is that which defines me, empowers me, and  
allows me to live.  
  
  
  
"Ligare hic spiritus vita impurus. Sua viti captus ab vis."

Bind this spirit to the life of the impure. Hers is a life taken by  
force.

Many, many thanks go out to Krystina for her hard work doing the Latin for this chapter. Big **hugs** to her!!!!! And big hugs, and a multitude of thanks, as well, to my beta for this tale, Chrisiant


	10. Chapter 10

Severus paused at the infirmary door, unsure of how to proceed. It had been three days since the attack on Hermione. He had not seen her since he had left her in Poppy's capable hands. Well, he had not seen her awake.

  
The Ministry had immediately dispatched a team to Hogwarts. After the regulation administration of veritaserum to all those involved in the incident, save Hermione, the officials had quickly rendered a decision of life imprisonment in Azkaban for both Malfoy and Goyle. Hermione's testimony would not be needed, as the crimes witnessed by the others were enough to dictate such a harsh sentence. 

  
At the Headmaster's request, Harry and Severus were to accompany the team to Azkaban. Although it seemed an isolated incident, they were still wary that there would be an attempt by other remaining death eaters to free the prisoners. Severus had been reluctant, the unspoken wish to remain near Hermione hanging in the air. 

  
Albus had accompanied him to the hospital wing to check on her. Poppy adamantly refused to leave Severus alone with Hermione until the Headmaster flat-out ordered her to do so. The medi-witch's eyes blazed with accusations leveled at the Potions-Master, but wisely bit her tongue and accompanied the Albus into the corridor. 

  
Hermione was lost in a much-needed, potion-assured slumber. Severus didn't attempt to awaken her, knowing her body, and mind, needed to heal. He sat with her, on the corner of her bed, just watching. The worst of her injuries had been healed, but the side of her face remained a bit swollen, a silent reminder of the beating she had endured. She looked fragile and pale and oh-so-young, lying in her simple white-cotton gown. 

  
Severus sat silently. He was still thankful that she had survived and would come out of this relatively unscathed. Now, as he gazed at her unconscious form, he was burdened with new knowledge. As the head of Slytherin House, it was up to him to be aware of the goings-on within his house. He had not been paying enough attention to his responsibilities. In his lapse, he had failed her. 

  
With a wave of his wand he conjured up a small nosegay of bluebells and slipped them into her hand. His fingers detoured to linger for a moment on her cheek. Even in this deep sleep, she instinctively turned toward him, seeking out his touch. 

  
"I'm sorry." The words were whispered on a heavy sigh. A sad smile and he was gone. 

  
Now, with the trip to Azkaban successful and Hermione's attackers fodder for the dementors, Severus found himself at the infirmary door once again. With a deep breath and a steeled spine, he opened the door and entered the room beyond. 

  
Hermione was the only patient. The leaving feast had taken place without her, and while he and Harry had been away. Hermione and Harry were the only students remaining at the school. With a mental kick he reminded himself that she was no longer a student. 

  
Hermione was sitting up in her bed, a thick tome lying opened in her lap. Her eyes, though, were fixed on the window opposite her. Lost in thought, she didn't hear his approach until he cleared his throat. She smiled at up him, but her eyes held a hint of sadness and pain. 

  
Silence hung in the air between them. Finally, he steeled himself, and plunged forward. "I'm sorry, Hermione." 

  
Confusion replaced sadness, then… clarity. "Severus, you needn't be sorry." She reached for his arm and pulled him down to sit beside her. "Dumbledore explained. Someone had to assure that they arrived at Azkaban." 

  
"No, no, I'm sorry about the attack." He could see the pain creep over her features at the mention of the incident. 

  
"You have no reason to be sorry," Hermione's voice was rough, barely a whisper. "I'm thankful you were there, that you took care of me, that you…" A strangled sob halted her words, as a single tear traced a path down her cheek. 

  
Before he could think, before he could contemplate the movement, he had dropped to sit beside her and pulled her into his arms. The book dropped from her lap to the floor, forgotten. There was no resistance, and she melted into him as sobs began to vibrate through her body. All Severus could do was hold on, dragging his fingers through her hair, and whispering soft words that he hoped were comforting 

  
It was long minutes later (or was it hours?) that Hermione finally pulled herself back from him, just enough to stare into Severus' dark eyes. Faced with her like this, he was overcome with another wave of guilt. "I'm so sorry, Hermione." A shaking finger stilled her protesting lips as he continued on, "I am responsible for Malfoy's actions. I should have stopped him and I didn't." 

  
Now the horror of his words registered in her eyes and she wrenched herself free from his grasp. Horror and confusion were both evident in her raspy voice as she ground out, "What?" 

  
"I am the Slytherin Head of House. It is my responsibility to guide the students in that house. In the event they fail to take my guidance, it is up to me to know of it and to nip any illicit behavior. I fell short in my responsibilities and in doing so, I almost cost you your life." He had drawn himself back and now sat straight and stiff. Unconsciously, his hands clenched and unclenched in the stiff, hospital sheets, belying his internal agony. 

  
A cool touch of her hand stilled the wrenching of the bedding. Another touch, this time to his cheek and the steel in his spine melted. He moved into her touch, his eyes never leaving hers as she spoke. Her voice was pliable now and molded itself to the hard places in his heart. "Oh, Severus. You mustn't think that, you can't. They are full-grown men; adults responsible for their own actions. You can't shoulder the guilt in this. This was not your fault, this was their fault and I refuse to sit here and listen to you continue on like this." Hermione was nervous, afraid of driving him away, but she played the only card she had. "Now, if you are going to insist on spewing this nonsense, than I am afraid I will have to ask you to leave." 

  
It was Severus' turn to be shocked. Was she throwing him out, pushing him away? He turned her words over and over in his head and his legs flexed to rise. He felt her hand on his tighten and for a brief moment panic played across her face. No, she wasn't pushing him away. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he relaxed again. Suddenly, Severus' eyes narrowed. "Going to toss me out of here are you, Miss Granger? No one throws me out unless I want to leave." Severus struggled to maintain his strictest demeanor. "And who gave you permission to call me by my given name?" 

  
Now it was her turn to partake in the banter. "Permission, who gave me permission? I don't need your permission. I can call you anything I damn well please. In case you haven't noticed, I, too am an adult." She had brought her face dangerously close to his and he could feel her hot breath on his mouth. To drive home the point, she punctuated her sentence with an airy "Sev." 

  
To his horror, he hardened at her words. Oh, yes he had noticed. His body was noticing right now. He was suddenly aware of so much. Her mouth so close, her eyes so heated, the soft bed beneath them, the peek of smooth tantalizing skin at the neckline of her nightgown. He had to get out of there, before he did something he would regret. 

  
She moved toward him further, as her eyes dropped to his lips and lingered before returning to his own eyes. She was telling him her desires. Her body was asking for his.  
He was instantly on his feet and moving toward the door, clumsily knocking over a wheeled tray in his haste. At the loud clatter of metal, he stopped and took a cleansing breath, while hoping the front of his robes weren't tented. "Miss Granger, you need your rest. Perhaps you will be up for a game of backgammon when I return this evening?" He quirked an eyebrow at her questioningly. 

  
He watched her fall back against the pillows and huff in frustration. After a moment, she smiled sweetly (too sweetly) and nodded her head. He dipped his head once and turned to exit. Before he shut the door, though, he turned round once more, and growled, "Oh, and don't call me Sev." Her giggles could be heard even through the wood behind him as he set off down the castle corridor. 

  
True to his word, Severus did return to her that evening. He brought more than just a backgammon board, choosing to bring along a tray of food and share the evening meal with her. The infirmary door was open and he could see Hermione sitting in a chair next to the bed. Poppy was bustling around the room, chattering on about the latest Hogsmeade gossip. Hermione noticed him standing in the doorway and rolled her eyes behind the Mediwitch's back. 

  
Severus cleared his throat to announce his presence. Poppy eyed him suspiciously through narrowed eyes. For a moment Severus thought she was going to order him to leave. Instead, she moved quickly to the doorway and slipped past into the corridor behind. Without a word to either of them she disappeared, leaving them alone. 

  
He soon had conjured up a small table and another chair and the feast he had brought with him was laid out. Hermione picked at her food and ate very little. Severus' attempts at small talk failed miserably and he soon found himself becoming exasperated.  
"Well, I have tried my best, used my wittiest repertoire, my politest manners, and my most amusing stories, but alas, it is to no avail. Tell me, Miss Granger, my dear, what had you so preoccupied that you cannot even pretend to laugh with me?" 

  
Hermione raised troubled eyes to him. "The Headmaster was here this afternoon. I have to give him my decision in the morning. Stay here and teach or leave and attend the University in the fall." 

  
Severus paused, set his fork down carefully, and with a wave of his wand, had cleared the table. He couldn't meet her eyes for a long moment, mind churning, turning over possibilities and scenarios. He was panic-stricken and found it hard to breathe. Why? He wanted her to leave; he needed her to live. Why, now when faced with the final decision, was he so torn? Finally, he calmed enough to speak rationally. "You know what I think, Hermione." 

  
Anger flashed in her eyes. "Yes, you have made that quite clear. I was hoping, with the attack and all, that you would have realized." 

  
A wildfire, this discussion always led to an argument that was quick to spark, and full of heat and fury. Severus blazed brightly now, "Realized what exactly? Realized that this castle isn't the place for you? Realized that I have failed horribly in my position here at the school, and in my obligation to keep the students safe? Realized that you will always be better off without me?" 

  
"You pompous, self- deprecating ass. No, I thought you would have realized that you are the only thing that I need. I can see the wizarding world; you can show it to me. I can be useful and have a career and still be with you. Can you never stop blaming yourself for things? Sometimes things just happen, and no matter how hard we want to control them, we can't. Fate rolls the dice and it's up to us to decide how to play them. Sometimes the rolls are bad and there is nothing we can do. Sometimes they're perfect and we can do anything with them. Most often, we just play the best we can and hope to come out winning." 

  
Severus was silent, his mind working wildly, trying to find something, anything that would convince her to get as far away from here as she could. She was so convincing in her arguments, everything she said made perfect sense. But, something, deep within him still argued that she was too young, too innocent, and staying with him would ruin her. 

Exasperated and desperate he blurted out, "A game, you want to compare life to a game? Fine, then, so be it." With another wave of his wand, the backgammon board sat on the table before them. "Three point match, no doubling. You win, you stay." The words left his mouth and he silently groaned. Where did such a stupid, asinine idea come from? 

  
He was shocked to see her look at him curiously, cocking her head a bit, considering. Finally, after some deliberation, she asked quietly, "And if I lose, I leave?" 

  
Dumbfounded that she was actually considering it, he could only nod. 

  
"And if I win, I can stay and you will give us a fair chance?" 

  
Severus closed his eyes, briefly picturing her sleeping in his arms, the two of them tucked away safely in the depths of the dungeons. Again, he nodded. 

  
"I can come back to you, after University, if I want?" 

  
"You won't." His response was fast and definite. 

  
"But, if I do, I can come back to you? You will be here?" Tears were shining in Hermione's eyes as she struggled to make sure their agreement was clear in both their minds. 

  
Severus' voice was gentle, "I will be here, if you wish to return after you finish your studies. I can't promise more than that, not now." It was an easy thing for him to say. Hogwarts was his home and he never pictured himself leaving. He also never pictured Hermione returning to him, not once she had gone out and experienced what life had to offer. 

  
Hermione brushed away her tears and sat up closer to the table, intent written all over her face. "Fine, then we play. Three points, no doubling." 

  
Half an hour later and Hermione was almost in tears. She was down two points to none and Severus was working his way to his side of the board. Fate was giving the Potions Master the perfect rolls and Hermione had only two pips remaining on a single space deep in Severus' home territory. They were face to face with two of his own pips, the last two within striking distance. Once those pips passed hers, it would take a miracle to beat him. 

  
Severus rolled the dark dice and Hermione felt a glimmer of hope. A six and a one smiled up at her. One pip removed from in front of her, and one pip removed from behind her. She needed a two. Shaking hands clenched the white dice furiously and Severus couldn't help but notice her hand tremble as she poured them from her hand to the table. He also couldn't help but see the first tear drip to the game board as she viewed her roll, a three and a one. 

  
Dark dice thrown again revealed a six and a three and the countdown began. With every roll of the white Hermione prayed for doubles, high doubles, and with every roll more tears fell to the felt. She didn't even make it home before Severus had cleared the board of his dark pips. She had lost; she had lost everything. 

  
Without a word, she stood and walked to the window. Severus could see her body trembling as Hermione struggled to stay on her feet. The urge to throw herself on the floor and cry was overwhelming. From somewhere deep inside she dredged up the courage to face what the fates had thrown her. Ignoring the salty wetness still leaking from her eyes, she turned and faced Severus. "I'll inform Albus of my decision and will be leaving on the morning train." 

  
Severus slowly got to his feet and walked to her. The room was quiet, the world was silent, and all disappeared but the two of them and the pain. "You don't have to leave tomorrow, stay a few more days, heal more, rest…" 

  
Her shaking head halted him in mid-sentence. Her voice was rough with the effort to swallow down her sobs, "No, no, tomorrow, it has to be tomorrow. Please, just go, just…" she could hold it back no longer and her voice was lost, drowned by the sound of her world collapsing into an agonizing pile of despair. She staggered a bit as the sense of loss shook through her body and threw out a hand to catch herself, heedless of where it landed. The feel of wool under her fingers was her final undoing as her knees buckled and she completely surrendered herself to the sobs and the tears. 

  
He had her in his arms before she could hit the floor, pressed to him, against him, his body seemingly trying to completely envelop hers. He hated himself, for once again causing her such pain. He could only hope that someday she would understand and forgive him for this. 

  
Her hands found his face as she pulled herself back a bit, holding him steady, forcing him to see her. His breath was gone from his body as she raised herself on tiptoe, pulled his face to hers and kissed him. This was not a schoolgirl's tentative kiss. This was the kiss of a woman, the lips of his love. The feeling of her against him, the smell, the taste, he was drowning in her and he didn't want to let go, ever. His body made its mind up and just as he was about to lift her into his arms and remove her back to his rooms, she wrenched her mouth free of his. 

  
Panting, gasping for air, she rested her cheek against his. After a minute, she pulled herself back and again, forced his eyes to hers. "I'm leaving, Severus. But, I will be back. I will come back to you." 

  
Hermione extricated herself from his arms and walked to the door, head high. With the infirmary door shut safely behind her, she stumbled once and then she ran, through the castle corridors and into Gryffindor Tower. In the now empty girl's dormitory, she finally allowed the pain to vocalize as she fell to the floor and poured out her despair into the cold stone. 

  
The night was long and lonely for Severus and Hermione. Both remained locked in their rooms until an hour before the train was to arrive. 

  
Harry had been with Dumbledore when a message arrived via a House Elf. It was a message from Hermione, turning down the teaching position. He had spent the night outside her door, listening to her crying. He thought it best to let her purge herself. He could hear her clearly through the door and if she had called for him one time, he would have been through the door in a heartbeat. But, the only name she called was Severus, over and over again. 

  
Now, he walked with her into Hogsmeade. He held her hand, not knowing quite what else to do to help. As he stood on the platform looking into her swollen, red eyes, he felt the need to say something. "I hope he's worth it, Hermione. I hope he's worth all of this suffering." 

  
Hermione blinked quickly, trying not to break down on the train platform in front of everyone. She couldn't speak; she couldn't say a word or the torrent would start all over again. She simply kissed Harry's cheek and turned to board the train for home. 

  
This time Hermione didn't choose the last car. She didn't even choose to sit near a window. She found an empty compartment, pulled the shades and let the tears fall all over again. 

  
As the train pulled out of the station, Harry walked to the far edge of the platform. He waved his wand once, "Reveal," and Severus Snape shimmered into view. 

  
"How did you know, Potter?" 

  
Harry looked at the taller wizard with undisguised disgust. "Had Hermione not been so 'preoccupied' she would have sensed your presence when we walked by as well. It truly was a poorly cast spell. I'm glad she didn't know you were here. You've hurt her enough." Harry turned toward Hogwarts without another word, leaving Snape alone, watching the train chug out of sight, taking her out of his life. 

A note:  
Bluebells symbolize: Fidelity; Loyalty; Humility; Constancy; Sorrowful; Regret 


	11. Chapter 11

It had been a mistake, a horrible, poorly thought out mistake. He should never have gone, he would have been happier not knowing. The vision of her and of him, it would haunt Severus until the day he died, alone and crying for Hermione. 

The last several years had taken a toll on him, emotionally, physically. It had been nearly four years of loneliness and solitude, endless nights with only the memory of her for company. His self-imposed exile had been wearing down his resolve. 

  
He had tried to free himself of her, attempted to move on with his life, as he expected she would do. There had been other women. For a while, he had made his way to Hogsmeade and the Three Broomsticks almost nightly. There had been polite dinners and pleasant (albeit forced) conversations with socially acceptable witches. Drinks and humor shared with some of the questionable women of the tavern. There were even a few nights filled with whiskey and the sweat of some not-so-socially acceptable witches. With enough alcohol and galleons it was easy enough to close his eyes, imagine Hermione, and ride the wave to completion. 

  
It had been following one such encounter that he followed the whore back down the steps into the tavern. His eyes had met with Harry Potter's; the younger wizard was sitting at the bar with a tankard of ale. Green eyes had settled on the disheveled and obviously used woman first and then on Severus. Harry had halfway smiled at the sight, shook his head in disgust, dropped a galleon on the bar, and left. Severus was sure that blasted snowy owl of Potters was gliding through the night sky within an hour. That had been Severus' last encounter of such nature. In fact, he had not been seen away from the castle, socially, since then. 

  
That had been nearly three years ago. Three years of evenings he spent alone. Salazar tried to entice him into a game from time to time, but it wasn't the same. Three years of nights in a cold bed, with only dreams of her keeping him company. It had been the yearning for her, the empty spot in his life where once she had filled, that had finally driven him to do something so stupid, so desperate. 

  
Another large gulp of whiskey burned its way into his gullet. Severus stared into the cut crystal, the amber liquid pulsing with the firelight shining through it. Now, truly, this was the only thing left, the only thing to look forward to. With a groan, Severus tilted his head back against the velvet upholstery of the top of the chair, closed his eyes, and thought back to what had led him to this, the destruction of his hope. 

  
It had been four weeks ago when the owl came. He shared his meals with the staff because Albus expected it. Mornings in the Great Hall were an exercise in monotony. The owls arrived precisely at 7:30 every morning, sweeping in through the eaves of the rooftop designed specifically for them, dropping their bundles precisely (usually) where they belonged, and leaving again with barely a loose feather dropped. 

  
Severus' bundle normally consisted of potions' periodicals and the occasional note about some miraculous finding from one colleague or another. 

  
Potter, of course, usually had a huge stack of letters from his many enamored admirers. Severus had been horrified to discover that Harry was to remain at Hogwarts, filling the position of Muggle Studies Professor. It never ceased to amaze Severus how fame and fortune had never died down for Harry. There was an endless line of females (and some males) vying for his attentions. He received many invitations for speaking engagements, offers for various book deals, and new job offers in exciting locations. Still, much to Severus' chagrin, Harry remained at the castle, and seemed happy in the relatively quiet life that the school provided. 

  
For almost four years, Harry Potter also received letters from Hermione. Once a week said letters would be read out loud at the breakfast table. Severus was sure it was Harry's way of punishing him for hurting Hermione. Little did he know that just the fact there was no letter for Severus was punishment enough. Still, Harry persisted in entertaining the table with Hermione's tales of university, stories of her social life, and recitations of her outstanding grades (which Severus secretly reveled in). Harry obviously chose which passages of the letters to read and Severus could never help but wonder what went unspoken. 

  
It was the first Wednesday in May when the owl arrived, bearing with Severus' ticket to hell. 

  
His bundle of mail dropped onto the table in front of him. A glance to his right and he saw the telltale sage green of Hermione's stationary sitting in front of Professor Potter. Severus reached out and took up his mail. While he opened the envelope on the top of the stack, he waited for Harry to begin speaking and fill them in on the current news of Hermione. 

  
He wasn't really reading the letter in front of him. His mind was preoccupied. Potter was reading silently, that was not a good sign. At the same moment Harry's eyes darted frantically to the Potions Master, Severus finally realized what he was looking at.  
It was an invitation, the like of which he received periodically. As a Potions Master he was informed of any new and exciting developments in his field. It seemed there was a new potion breakthrough. An elite team of students from Hermione's university had developed a potion they claimed would reverse the effects of Crucio, effectively turning the curse against the caster. Severus' presence was requested, as it often was, at an inquiry of the student team. The Master's would be allowed to interrogate the students and try to find any weaknesses or holes in their research. The student names were listed at the bottom, Hermione's among them. 

  
Severus offered no explanations as he left his seat quickly and headed for the dungeons. Panic was gripping him, robbing him of any ability to speak or to breathe. He had the opportunity to see her, to see the woman she had become. Her years as a student were nearly over. He knew she had seen the world. He heard of her travels over and over again at the Head Table. Perhaps it was time? 

Maybe he would confuse her with his presence? Harry had not spoken of what Hermione's plans were when she graduated next month and Severus refused to ask. Would she really want him sweeping back into her life, coming to claim her as if she were his property? 

  
Still, it was a chance to see her, to be in the same room with her. Maybe, he would even to get close enough to her to smell her perfume. Any small part of her that he could grasp would ease his longing a bit, wouldn't it? 

  
It didn't take long to formulate a plan. The organizer of the symposium was the longtime dean of the university. As such, all arrangements for payment of Hermione's tuition had been made with him. He had proven himself trustworthy in that, to the best of Severus' knowledge, Hermione had never been told of the nature of her Scholarship. 

  
The plan was simple. An owl to the dean and ten days later Severus found himself sitting at the conference. His name tag read: Gavin Jones- Florida, United States. A carefully applied glamour and Severus had blond hair, blue eyes, a perfect not-too-large nose, and a dark tan. To complete the "package" Severus had perfected what he hoped was an acceptable southern United States drawl. 

  
The panel took several long hours, answering questions and defending their hard work. Hermione was confident as she sat in the first chair, heading up the team. Severus asked no questions. Instead he sat, staring dumbfounded at the beautiful witch on the stage. She was still the Hermione who had been his student, and yet, she was not. Her voice was deeper now, smooth and confident as she fielded question after tough question. Her thick hair had been pulled back to the nape of her neck in an attempt to look more professional. The young woman he had fallen in love with had fallen away and in her place sat a self-assured beauty. 

  
Finally, around the noon hour it was announced that the question and answer period was over. After a brief break for lunch, the Masters would be allowed to view the potion, take samples for testing, and view some demonstrations. Severus watched as the students filed off the stage and out a side door. 

  
For several long moments, he sat there, unable to move, trying to process what he had seen that morning. Even if he had not had the history with Hermione that he had, Severus would have been drawn to her. She was beautiful, knowledgeable, intelligent, and exuded a silent confidence of self. Now, so close to her once again, he was drawn to her. He couldn't fight it. In fact, he didn't even want to try. She had done what was asked of her, been educated and lived her life. Now, it was time to see what the future held for them. He only hoped that it was not too late. 

  
His resolve was made. Severus rose from his seat and left the auditorium. He needed to find some privacy, somewhere to drop the spells and become himself again. A turn to the right and he found himself in an empty corridor. A few more strides and he could see the hall turned to the left. Severus made the turn and stopped, pulling out his wand and preparing to lift the glamour. It was at the last second, right before the words to end the magic fell from his lips, that he heard the laughter. 

  
In his haste, Severus had failed to notice that two figures stood silently in the shadows further down the hallway. He couldn't see the fine details of their faces or bodies, but he knew her laugh. He could also see enough to realize that Hermione was now in the arms of another man. Severus' wand clattered to the ground, causing the entwined pair to pull apart quickly and move away from the wall Hermione had been pinned against. 

  
Severus stooped quickly to retrieve his wand. Before he could turn and flee, the couple had come past him, walking quickly, clearly embarrassed at having been discovered. Severus recognized the wizard with his arm around Hermione's waist. It was another student on the panel. His name was Aubry Something-or-the-other and had sat in the seat next to Hermione's. Hermione's face was red with humiliation. She didn't even look in Severus' direction as they passed, hoping to avoid the discomfort of facing the person who had found her in such a situation. Severus could see her hair had pulled free from its bindings and flowed down to the top of her buttocks. He also couldn't help but notice how puffy and red her lips were, telltale signs of having been recently and thoroughly kissed. 

  
The need to tear her from the wizard's arms was almost overwhelming. Severus fought down the urge to pull her away, apparate and mark her as his own. His hand was shaking where it grasped his wand. 

  
The couple turned the corner of the corridor and disappeared from his sight. Severus' eyes slipped shut and he breathed in the lingering, faint scent of her. The fury gave way to despair as the reality of what he had witnessed sank in. He had lost her. 

  
Severus wasted no time apparating away from the university hallway. The glamour was dropped the second he reached the Hogwarts grounds. He moved quickly toward the main doors, hoping against hope that he could reach his quarters before he broke down. 

  
He should have known that Albus and Harry would be waiting just inside the front doors.  
Severus struggled to appear impassive. "I suppose the two of you know where I've been?" 

  
Albus smiled gently, "We were able to put a few things together, Severus, yes." 

  
Harry's eyes were suspiciously hard. "I suppose you saw her then?" 

  
Severus smirked, "Oh, yes. I saw her." 

  
Harry was curious, carefully pressing for more details of their encounter without giving away any of his own information. "Did you speak?" 

  
Severus' dismay turned rapidly to anger at the wizards who were attempting to pry into his personal life. "No, Mr. Potter, I did not speak to her. Her time was being monopolized by a handsome young wizard. But, I suspect you already knew that. Now, if you will excuse me I have some personal matters to attend to. 

As he descended the steps into the foundation of the castle, he heard Potter's voice call out. "You said you wanted her to live. She only did what you told her to do." 

  
Moments later a resounding 'slam' echoed back up the staircase. 

  
Somehow he had made it through the first night. Severus had been sure the grief was going to keep squeezing around his chest until his heart finally burst. The decanter of whisky on the side table was his only saving grace. Sunday was lost to him, a haze of alcohol, anger, and tears. Salazar had done his best to try and pull Severus out of his pit. All the ghost had succeeded in doing was having himself banned, magically, from the Potions Master's quarters. 

  
When he awoke Monday morning, it was to a pounding head, a cotton-filled taste in his mouth, and the rank smell of vomit dried into his clothing. 

  
He hadn't bothered shaving, just showered perfunctorily and was soon buttoned into his safe, high-necked shirt and frock coat. He did his best to fall into a routine of taking out his anger on the students (which was hardly something notable) by day and trying his best to forget the world with his bottle shaped, amber-filled friends by night. 

  
And so, here he sat. Classes were over for the summer. Hermione's time at the University was over. Absently he scratched at the beard, which now donned his face. Most wizards grew them when they were older, but what difference did it make now? Severus chuckled grimly. It didn't matter if he looked forty or a hundred and forty. Nothing mattered, only the colors reflected from the firelight through the crystal and only the burn down his throat. 

  
Albus and Sal were sitting quietly by the fire in the Headmaster's office when Harry burst into the room. "She's on her way. She'll be here with her stuff on the morning train."  
Albus smiled sadly. "I fear it won't work. She graduated a week ago. He will know she was asked to come, that she didn't come back to him immediately." 

Salazar waved a transparent hand and scoffed. "Ahh, all the little wench has to do is get down on her knees, open up that pretty mouth, and…" 

  
"Shut up, Sal." Harry and Albus' voice were as one. Harry continued on, excitedly, "That's just it, Albus. We had a long talk while I helped her finish packing. FINISH packing; she was already halfway packed when I arrived. She was packing to come here. She was delayed tying up some lose ends of her personal life and finishing up finalizing the potion licensing agreements. She was coming to him." 

  
Albus considered the words, and a brief shimmer of hope shown in his eyes. "Let us hope she will be able to convince him of that."  
  



	12. Chapter 12

Albus Dumbledore was pleasantly astonished at the witch who walked through his office door the next morning. When Hermione Granger had left Hogwarts she had been an attractive, intelligent, young witch. Now, gone was the awkward youth. In its place, stood a magical woman. She moved with a gracefulness that silently spoke of the people and places she had seen. Her eyes shone with a confidence in the life she had lived, and the knowledge she had obtained.

  
"Hermione, my dear, it's been far, far too long." Albus rose to his feet and met her halfway around the desk. He felt the slightest twinge of regret at his advanced age at the scent of her perfume and softness of her lips on his cheek. Yes, she had indeed grown up.  
"Headmaster, it's good to be back. It seemed I would never get things at the University settled. They insisted the team remain until the contracts and licenses were worked out." Albus indicated the seat opposite his own. Hermione continued as they both sat down. "Then, Harry shows up yesterday evening as I was packing. He was spouting something about Severus having been at the conference. I know I didn't see him there. From what Harry tells me, he saw me though."  
  


Albus nodded slowly. "Yes, and from what we can gather you must have been in a bit of a compromising situation with another wizard." 

  
Her confident eyes now blazed with fury. Inwardly Albus chuckled. Oh, yes. Severus would have his hands full. "What the hell did he expect me to do? He sent me away from here. 'Live your life, Hermione. See the world, Hermione. Have fun, Hermione.' Well, I did as he asked. I lived my life, I saw the world, and I had fun. Never, ever did he say, 'Be a bloody nun, Hermione.' For that matter, from what I heard, he wasn't exactly a candidate for the priesthood either." 

  
Albus smiled at that. "No, he was not. I expect you both have a bit of talking to do. I have to tell you, he's been in quite a state since he's returned. He's been drinking himself into a stupor almost daily." 

"Oh, he has, has he? Well, I suppose he's just going to have to sober up long enough to hash things out with me. He's not the only one with baggage that needs to be dealt with. There are things that I have to say to him. Things he needs to hear. Dammit, he's going to listen to me for once." 

  
"That's the spirit, my Dear. Now then, I have put you in the suite across from Harry's. Your belongings are, undoubtedly, already there and unpacked." The old wizard made his way to the fireplace. With a pinch of floo powder, the flames roared to life. "Professor Granger's quarters. I will be making the announcement today at lunch with the summer staff, so try and keep a low profile until then. I do love a surprise." 

  
Hermione stepped into the flames and emerged into the sitting room of her new home. Albus had assigned her a suite of rooms on an outside corner of the castle. The floor to ceiling windows ranked two of the walls in the expansive room. In the center of one of the walls of windows, Hermione could see a set of French doors and a balcony beyond. The windows were all open wide and a warm breeze blew in from the lake beyond, softly billowing the gauzy sheer curtains. She could see a small dining set and an archway behind it. Further inspection in that direction revealed a study lined with floor to ceiling bookshelves and a large desk. Hermione's own collection of tomes had been added to the well-stocked library. 

  
Wandering back into the main room, Hermione noticed a small, twisting staircase in one of the interior corners. The second floor of her quarters mirrored the first floor. The bedroom's huge windows were hung with heavy velvet drapes. It was as easy enough task to wave for Hermione to wave her wand and ensure herself darkness. Hermione could see a pile of her belongings in the center of the floor here. Apparently, the House Elves had not been sure what to do with some of her more muggle devices. Ignoring them for now, she stepped out onto the balcony. Here, Hermione was pleased to see a solid stone wall running the entire length. Its height was such that no one from the ground would be able to see over it and view the occupants. 

  
Where the study was on the first floor, there was an elaborate bath on the second. A deep sunken stone tub was the focal point of this room. Before she could explore the room further, she could hear Harry's voice calling from downstairs. He was standing just inside the door on the first floor as Hermione came down the steps. Hermione waved him in and watched in amusement as Harry looked around. 

  
"Gee, Hermione, you need to set an amplification spell on the door. I was knocking and knocking. Luckily, I know all the starting passwords for these quarters. I figured you hadn't changed it yet. For all your smarts you really forget to do the simplest things sometimes. " Harry threw himself down onto the overstuffed couch as he rattled on. "Would you look at this place? Albus asked me what he thought you would like, you know, some decorating tips. I remembered you thought that resort we vacationed at in Jamaica was so neat. So, I called up a memory of your room there and gave it to him. Look what he came up with." 

  
Hermione sat in an armchair across from him and smiled broadly. "Yeah, it's spectacular. Are your quarters like this?" 

  
"More or less. You'll be seeing them later sometime, now, that you're finally here. Albus understands that the demands of this job can be draining. We are expected to be here for the children, for the most part, twenty-four hours a day. He figures that the least he can do is make our private areas the most comfortable and relaxing for us that he can. Hey, at least the summers are student-free." Harry sat up suddenly, "Crikey, I almost forgot, I have to get with the hotel in Madrid. I'll be back for you before lunch. You will allow me to escort you to the Great Hall won't you?" Harry grinned at her rakishly as he extended a hand and yanked her rather ungracefully to her feet. 

  
Hermione laughed at his antics and half-stumbled with him in the direction of the door. 

"Sure, sure, Harry. I have some unpacking to finish up anyway." Her face grew serious as she thought about the staff lunch. "I'm afraid I need a bit of mental preparation for this, you know, some time to myself. I don't know if I can face him. It's been so long." 

  
Harry had been halfway out the door, but stopped and turned back at Hermione's words. "You can face him. You have no reason not to. Whatever happens, it will all, finally, get resolved between the two of you. You need this time. He needs this time." Harry leaned into her and brushed a brief kiss across her cheek. "Be strong, Hermione. It will work itself out." 

  
Hermione swallowed down the tears welling up in her eyes and simply nodded her head. She heard Harry call out as she shut the door, "Don't forget to reset your password," and tried hard to laugh. 

  
Upstairs, she surveyed the few items remaining from her life as a muggle that she just couldn't part with. Most notable were her electronic devices. With a few waves of her wand, she had a rather impressive audio and visual entertainment center sitting against the interior wall of her bedroom. Hermione made a mental note to travel up to London to make some purchases for another for downstairs. 

  
A simple spell made electricity unnecessary. Within minutes, the digital clocks were set, the amps were adjusted and the sound of a Scottish pop band was flowing from the surround sound. 

  
_One day I'll have to face the truth  
I will  
I know I'll find it hard to wake up  
And say these words to you  
  
So did the days drag on for you  
Was I gone for too longThere's something changing in me  
I've got to show it  
Got to show you  
Cause day after day without you  
I find that there's no one to turn to  
All this madness that I've found  
I'm so thankful when you're around  
  
It's true, yes I do  
  
In every place I'll face a world  
Of strangers  
We'll talk and laugh about the good times  
We had together  
  
So did the days drag on for you  
Was I gone for too long  
There's something changing in me  
I've got to show it  
Got to show you  
Cause day after day without you  
I find that there's no one to turn to  
All this madness that I've found  
I'm so thankful when you're around  
Cause day after day without you  
I find that there's no one to turn to  
All this madness that I've found  
I'm so thankful when you're around  
It's true, yes I do  
  
There are times when I see you  
There are times when I'm mad  
When I wake you disappear  
That's what I always find so hard  
Cause day after day without you  
I find that there's no one to turn to  
All this madness that I've found  
I'm so thankful when you're around  
Cause day after day without you  
I find that there's no one to turn to  
All this madness that I've foundI'm so thankful when you're around  
It's true, yes I do_

  
The remainder of her belongings found their way to a resting place and Hermione sank into the chaise lounge in the corner. What a mess she had made of things. 

  
The years had been long and hard on Hermione. When she first arrived at the University, she had immediately thrown herself into her studies, immersing herself into learning and nothing else. She was determined to earn a degree quickly, any degree, whatever would be the easiest to obtain. She wanted nothing more than to uphold her end of the bargain and return to the castle and to Severus. 

  
Then, there had been the night Harry had shown up in her dorm room with the news that changed so much for her. He told her of the tavern slut and Severus. In her hurt mind, Hermione tried to make some kind of warped sense of the situation. Severus was not in a relationship with a woman. He was fucking a whore. It really didn't mean that anything had changed in the long run between them. But, it also didn't mean that it didn't hurt. 

  
It was a brutal and harsh lesson that Hermione learned. Love and sex didn't always have to go hand in hand. If Severus was going to find some sort of comfort in the warm flesh of someone else's body, then Hermione was going to as well. Maybe, if she had been a virgin, then her decision would have been different. If, finally when she returned to Severus, she had been able to offer him the gift of her innocence then, perhaps, she would not have seen other men. She did, though. She had dated other men. She had dated them, and used their bodies to try and feel something; some sort of the feeling or passion or inner fire that she felt when she had been with Severus. None of them ever did it for her though. They all left her feeling even emptier, even lonelier than she did before. So, she sought out another and another, and with each the result was the same. None of them was Severus Snape and no one could fill the void. 

  
She also took her time with her studies. She could have easily completed her Potions degree in half the time. Instead, she joined the research team, which took up a great deal of her schedule. She also took the summers off instead of taking extra classes. She traveled with Harry, together exploring the wizarding world. Perhaps she had been unconsciously trying to punish Severus for hurting her. Make him wait for her, make him suffer. Who knows? 

  
Now, she had returned to the castle, and hopefully she had returned to him. Did she feel guilty? She refused to examine any guilty feelings. He had not been pure of heart and body in her absence. They both had behaved like children through all of this, and it was time it ended. 

  
Hermione wasn't sure where things would lead her now. She only knew that their lives, Severus and her own, were a colossal mess. They had left many gaping wounds when she had been made to leave those years ago. The wounds had festered and turned nasty. They had to heal now. 

  
The music had changed and Hermione rose and strolled out onto the balcony, turning up the volume as she passed. Her mouth went dry as she looked to the lakeside. 

  
Severus walked down the path toward the lake. He was dressed in simple black slacks and a white dress shirt, forgoing robes in the summer heat. Suddenly, he stopped and whirled around. For a moment, it seemed he looked right at her. Then she realized that he couldn't see her and relaxed and enjoyed just the sight of him after so long. 'He's grown a beard,' Hermione thought, feeling holes in her soul filling up with just the simple vision. 

  
The music swirled around the balcony. 

  
_I'm taking my time  
I'll fix it, don't worry now  
I'm needing you there  
Make sure that you're coming  
  
_

_All of my life  
Is all I give you here  
The meaning of me  
Is something to pursue _

_  
You think I'm a saint  
It's in your pretty head  
Stretched out like a saint now  
I love you to death _

_  
Catch another dream now  
We can find them somehow  
I know that there's a boy inside the man  
Catch another dream now  
Take all we are allowed  
For I know that there's a man inside the boy _

_  
Grown ups don't know  
How to dream anymore  
Their heads in the sand  
And they choose to ignore it all  
  
_

_All of my life  
Is all I give you here  
The meaning of me  
Is something to pursue _

_  
You think I'm a saint  
It's in your pretty head  
Stretched out like a saint now  
I love you to death _

_  
Catch another dream now  
We can find them somehow  
I know that there's a boy inside the manCatch another dream now  
Take all we are allowed  
For I know that there's a man inside the boy _

_  
You think I'm a saint  
It's in your pretty head  
Stretched out like a saint now  
I love you to death _

_  
Catch another dream now  
We can find them somehow  
I know that there's a boy inside the man  
Catch another dream now  
Take all we are allowed  
For I know that there's a man inside the boy _

_  
Catch another dream now  
We can find them somehow  
I know that there's a boy inside the man  
Catch another dream now  
Take all we are allowed  
For I know that there's a man inside the boy _

_  
A man inside the boy  
You think I'm a saint  
It's in your pretty head_

  
Severus had stopped as the sound of muggle music drifted through the summer air. He turned back toward the castle and scanned the high walls, but could see no one. It wasn't Potter's normal taste in music. This had a much softer, haunting rhythm to it. The lyrics, they made him think of Hermione and her pretty head. Damn! Where had that come from? It was the fault of whoever insisted on playing that cacophony at such loud volumes. Did no one have any consideration for the other occupants of this castle? They could have at least cast a silencing charm. 

  
Furious at the person responsible for the racket, or at the music itself, or at the memories, or at something, Severus stormed to the castle. He was intent on seeking out whoever was polluting the air with that noise and insisting that they quiet it immediately. 

  
Once inside the castle, the music was silenced, disappearing behind layer after layer of solid rock. Severus knew the music had been coming from an area that housed staff quarters and made for it. As he neared the wing, he could hear the music once again. He realized the music had to be coming from Potter's quarters after all, as the other rooms were either unoccupied for the summer or empty. He was surprised when he stopped in front of the Muggle Studies Professor's flat to find the music coming from the suite directly across. Those rooms had been previously unoccupied. Who was using them now?  
The tempo was a sensual, grinding beat now, and obviously, the person inside couldn't hear his pounding on the door over the excruciating volume of the song. He decided to try the password that all of these rooms started out with, "Godric." The door swung open.  
  


_It doesn't feel right  
The lights are too bright  
I'm feeling uptight in my sensual world  
I need to be you  
I need to breathe too  
I need to see through life  
With these sensitive words _

_  
I could blame it on you  
I could blame it on my instincts  
I could blame it on the train to the plane  
The boat to the shore  
So tell me what's the answer _

  
_No trouble in my face  
There's not one anxious voice  
You know I can't listen  
I can't listen  
You say that you are everything  
Do you taste good  
So c'mon, c'mon, c'mon  
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon_

  
The music was coming from the second floor of the flat and Severus wasted no time in storming up the stairs. Without meaning to be, his footfalls were silent, years of sneaking around the castle searching for misbehaving youths having been ingrained in his stride. At the top of the stairs the sight that met him caused him to grasp the railing in a white-knuckled panic. Hermione Granger stood with the expansive closet doors thrown wide, flicking through outfit after outfit on the closet bar. She was clad only in a beige bra and (Oh, Merlin) a thong. With the beat of the music vibrating even the pictures on the wall she was unaware of his presence. While she chose her clothing, her body swayed provocatively to the music, and she sang along to the words.  
  


_No air around me  
I need to feel free  
I'm private property  
In my sensual world  
No indecisions  
I have a vision  
There's no collision there  
With these sensitive words _

_  
I could blame it on you  
I could blame it on my instincts could blame it on the train to the plane  
The boat to the shore  
So tell me what's the answer _

_  
No trouble in my face  
There's not one anxious voice  
You know I can't listen  
I can't listen  
You say that you are everything  
Do you taste good  
So c'mon, c'mon, c'mon  
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon _

_  
No trouble in my face  
There's not one anxious voice  
You know I can't listen  
I can't listen  
You say that you are everything  
Do you taste good  
So c'mon, c'mon, c'mon  
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon _

_  
All from too much choice yeh yeh  
  
I could blame it on the train to the plane  
The boat to the shore  
So tell me what's the answer _

_  
No trouble in my face  
There's not one anxious voice  
You know I can't listen  
I can't listen  
You say that you are everything  
Do you taste good  
So c'mon, c'mon, c'mon  
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon _

  
_No trouble in my face  
There's not one anxious voice  
You know I can't listen  
I can't listen  
You say that you are everything  
Do you taste good  
So c'mon, c'mon, c'mon  
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon_

  
Before Hermione could turn and discover him lurking there, on the stairs, spying on her like a lecherous vulture, Severus descended the stairs as silently as he had ascended them. He paused at the bottom, resting himself against the wall, panting in both the shock of discovering her here and his body's observations of her. 

  
A thousand thoughts whirled through his head, most of them negative. Now, was not the place to try and puzzle this out, though, he had to get out of there. A deep breath cleared his head somewhat and he was able to slip silently from her quarters. 

  
The staff lunch was forgotten in his haste to retire to the dungeons. The only thing on his mind was a dancing near-naked witch from his past. She had returned. When and how and most importantly, why? Oh, he couldn't deal with this now. He couldn't deal with her now. 

  
He wasn't sure how much time had past. The fingers of whiskey left in the bottle measured time. He only knew that the room's edges had taken on a foggy, misty, look. Somewhere, there was an incessant rapping intruding on the blissful escape from his troubled thoughts. What was that noise? Another deep, drag on the harsh, amber liquid. It didn't even burn anymore. Someone was pounding on his door, that's what it was. No, he wasn't coming back today. "Bugger off!" He didn't want to see anyone, not while she was here. Another mouthful, and he felt himself slip out of the chair into a heap by the fire. 

  
The room was finally silent as it seemed whoever had been knocking at his door had finally given up. A few more gulps of whiskey and he felt the sweet hand of unconsciousness grasping him. It was such a soft, smooth hand; lifting him gently, and tipping his head back. He felt cool glass at his lips, and assumed it must be the bottle again. He drank deeply. 

  
'Wait, that's not whiskey,' his suddenly sober mind screamed at him. His eyes snapped open, looking down at the beaker of sobering potion being poured down his throat. He pushed it away and spit what remained in his mouth out on the rug. Clenching and unclenching his fists in fury, he got his knees under him. He was going to throw whoever had dared break into his private quarters out on their bloody arse, just as soon as he could get to his damned feet. Trying to muster some dignity, his eyes rose to meet the interfering party with fury. In shock, his legs gave way before he made it to full height and he found himself staggering into the chair. 

  
Hermione Granger scowled down at him in disgust. 

  
"Oh, Shit." 


	13. Chapter 13

Severus groaned as a wave of nausea that had nothing to do with alcohol and everything to do with Hermione flowed through his person. Here he was, finally, faced with the object of every love, and lust, filled thought or dream for the last four years. She had found him disheveled, drunk to the gills, and floundering around on the floor. He supposed he should be thankful he hadn't been wallowing in some sort of bodily fluids, but that point was moot. 

  
Her voice interrupted his self-punishment. "So, Severus, would you care to enlighten me as to what this little display is all about?" Her voice had changed and rang with a confidence, while a small fist was knocking, even then, on his libido, demanding it to wake up and notice her new graduation from girl to woman. 

  
She never would have dared speak to him, speak down to him in such a fashion when she was a student. His pride finally overrode his shock and he pulled himself a bit straighter into the chair before answering. "I don't see how that concerns you, Miss Granger." 

  
With a flick of her wand another chair appeared opposite him and soon Severus found Hermione seated opposite him. Now, he could see his sharp comment had drawn the proverbial blood. The hurt was in her eyes, so much hurt in her eyes that it seemed it couldn't have been from one, thoughtless retort. "So, we are back to Miss Granger. I suppose I am to address you as Professor Snape at the staff meetings then? Oh, and I'll be careful that there is at least one seat between us at meal times. I wouldn't want to have to be forced to carry on a conversation with you. Gods forbid you should actually be civil to someone." 

  
Severus screwed his face up like he had just tasted something sour and pinched the bridge of his nose at the headache that was trying to take over his swimming mind. "Merlin's balls, woman, what are you blathering on about?" 

  
"Oh, that's right. Instead of attending the staff lunch, you were down here getting yourself drunk. You missed Albus and Harry's big announcement. Harry's finally decided to write his book. He's taking a year off. Albus needed a fill-in Muggle Studies Professor and asked me to do it. I was under the assumption that I had something here to come back to, so I jumped at the chance." She lowered both her voice and her eyes here, swallowing hard before continuing on. "Perhaps I was mistaken. Nonetheless, I am here for the next year." 

  
Severus could only nod his head. His mind and his heart were at odds with each other. One rejoicing at the prospect of being near her, seeing her daily, brushing up against her robes in the corridors, smelling her perfume as he passed by her at the head table, and just the sheer joy of knowing she was nearby. His other was screaming out that he was only going to be hurt again for at the end of a year she would be leaving again and this time it would be for good, this time she would not return. 

  
Hermione could see the vortex playing through his dark eyes. After four years she could still read them like she could read a potions recipe. He was staring into the fireplace, refusing to look at her, even though she had brought herself down to his level and now sat with her heart open before him. If there were to be any hope that they could move past the hurt they had both felt one of them would have to take a plunge. So, she held her breath, flexed her knees and over the edge she went. "Listen, I know that a lot has happened. We have both done things we regret. Dammit, Will you look at me?" Hermione reached out with shaking fingers and tugged his whisker-covered chin toward her. Her eyes were gentle and pleading, "Please, _look_ at me. We _both_ did things we regret. Things that do not need to be brought out and reexamined. You and I both understand what I'm talking about, don't we?" 

Once again, Severus could only nod. Her hand had slipped down to grasp one of his and Severus found himself clutching it as if it was the only thing that could save him at this point, his only link to life. 

  
Hermione continued on, "My time away was to be a learning experience for me, perhaps for both of us. I think all I learned, maybe we learned, is how fucked up it all got when we were apart. Now, everything is all messed up and I know we just can't just jump right back into it like the hurt never happened." 

  
Severus was studying her now, the intent face that was before him, struggling to make some sort of an argument. He found a voice from deep within, "No, we can't, Hermione."  
  


She sighed heavily at this and for a brief moment, he thought she would cry. Instead, she shook herself slightly, as if clearing her head, and struggled on. "When I left here, what we had held so much, I don't know, _promise_.. _possibility_… Whatever it _was_, whatever it _is_, don't we owe _it_; don't we owe ourselves the chance to move past the hurt? Can't we at least try? Severus, I came back. I came back to you."  
  


His hands were shaking now, trembling violently. "I don't know, Hermione. I just don't know. So much has happened." 

  
She needed the chance with his heart, the possibility for a future, but his mind was struggling so desperately to shut her out. How could she convince him, what did she have to gamble with? Suddenly she leapt to her feet and moved to the bookshelves. "You forced me to decide our fate by the roll of the dice four years ago. Decide our fate again by the dice now. Three points, no doubling, and if I win we move past the hurt and try."  
  


The board was now sitting on a small table between them. Severus was staring at it, gape-mouthed, trying to absorb what she was saying. He knew she was serious; he had done it to her. "All right, so be it, let fate decide again." They had to lay the ground rules out, first though, so there could be no confusion later. There was too much was riding on the game. "If I do lose this and things proceed, they can't be rushed or forced. We take things slow." 

  
"A chance, Severus, all I want is a chance." 

  
So began the match. As the match progressed it became obvious that Hermione was playing hard. Severus found himself concentrating more and more on the woman across the board from him and less and less on his game. Her brow was wrinkled in concentration and she had gnawed most of the nails on her right hand down to the quick. 

  
He had missed the nights with her, sitting in this same spot, bent over this same game board. Now, he was being offered the chance to do it all over again. She was trying to pick up the pieces of their shattered dreams and try and piece their lives back together again. If she was so willing to fight, couldn't he fight as well? If she had that strength, then why didn't he? Wasn't he just as strong? Couldn't he fight just as hard for her?  
His mind made up, Severus Snape sat up straight and played the worst game of backgammon of his life. 

  
Hermione removed her last pip from the board to the match. It had been obvious for the final two games that Severus was trying to lose and Hermione was trying hard not to laugh. "Well played match, Severus," she smirked. 

  
"I'm a bit rusty, you know. You could at least have given me a chance to get warmed up." He smiled briefly, before his dark eyes grew serious once more. Icy fingers of self-doubt started to grasp a hold of his confidence again. He suddenly was most interested in studying the label on the empty whiskey bottle still sitting on the floor near the chair, "Are you sure you really want this?" 

  
Now, Hermione was on her knees, between him and the blasted whiskey bottle. "Yes, you foolish, foolish man. I want this. I want you. Please, believe me." And she was in his arms, her cheek pressed as tightly against his chest as she could manage. She was warm against him, then blazingly hot, and her fire burned his way into him. The icy fingers sizzled and popped and evaporated away into final nothingness. Since she showed no signs of letting go, Severus simply gave in and wrapped his arms around her and savored the moment. 

  
After a few minutes he felt her pull away to look him straight in the eyes. "Do you believe me?" Her voice was a whisper over his face. 

  
He was lost. "Yes." He dipped his head, intent on capturing her mouth, but she was on her feet and moving away before he met his goal. 

  
Her smile was playful and her voice teasing. "You said you wanted to take things slow, remember? I'll see you at dinner." 

  
He scowled at her, as was expected of him. "What makes you think I'll be at dinner?" 

  
"You'll be at dinner, because if you're not at dinner, than you won't get to walk with me tonight by the lake." 

She was halfway out the door by now. "Oh, and Severus. I might have kissed you just now, but you smell like a Gods-damned brewery. You really need to get cleaned up." And the door slammed. 

  
"WENCH!" 

  
The door reopened, just enough for the brown bushy head to peek through once again. "I forgot to tell you. That beard is insufferably sexy. Please, don't shave it." 

Slam! 


	14. Chapter 14

With a wave of his wand, Severus cleared the steam from the bathroom mirror and surveyed his reflection. It was a simple glass mirror, not one of those enchanted, talking contraptions that would never cease annoying him, rambling on about the size of his nose and the length of his hair. He stood before it, with a simple white towel slung around his waist. 

"Insufferably sexy" He smiled as he recalled Hermione's parting words. Still, they astonished him as he gazed at the man looking back over the silver surface. With a heavy sigh, he raised his wand and began to 'clean himself up'. He began with his hair, still damp from his shower. Several years ago he had adopted the habit of pulling his thick, straight hair back at the nape of his neck and securing it with a leather tie. It had proven much neater and less dangerous during potion brewing by keeping it out of his face and out of the cauldrons. By letting it grow a bit longer, it was easier to secure. So, he had let it grow. Soon, he had just forgotten about it. Now, hanging down around his shoulders and beyond, he frowned as he surveyed the long mess. It had been many, many months since he had used the charms to even out the ragged, split edges. It had grown long now, longer than he had ever let it grow before. He was uncertain just how short he should cut his locks, and unsure exactly what Hermione would find acceptable. With a grimace and a small prayer, he waved his wand, mumbled the charm and tapped his wand at a spot just above his shoulders. Suddenly, the uneven edges were gone, and his hair was dried and neatened up. 

Next, he attacked his facial hair. He always had a tendency to grow a rather full beard. Even as a young man, he had shaved in the mornings and by bedtime, he had a raspy shadow covering his chin. In the month since returning from the conference he had not cleared his face of his whiskers once. Now, he tilted his face to the side and examined the length of the growth covering his cheeks and chin. Yes, it was a full-blown beard of several good centimeters growth. It needed some trimming, some evening out, (he tilted his head the other way), perhaps a square cut? Again, Severus took up his wand and went to work. This was more precise trimming; there was no single charm for this. Rather he worked the wand, taking single, small cuts. He moved slowly and carefully, as small pieces of whisker fell into the sink below him. Finally, he rinsed his face with water and stood up straight to examine his work. He frowned, insecure of the results, and of himself in general. It would have to do though, he could do no more, and he could be no more than what he was. He was filled with a sad resignation as he turned from the mirror and left the bathroom. 

There was no need to peruse his closets for an outfit. His wardrobe was severely limited to black slacks, white shirts, black frock coats, and black robes. They varied only by materials and cuts. He chose his normal black pants but in a lighter weight twill fabric. Over this, he added an immaculate white linen shirt. His hand halted though, as he reached for a set of over-robes. With the students gone, the formalities could be forgone for the next several months. 

Feeling anything but hunger in the pit of his stomach, Severus let himself out of his quarters and made his way to the Great Hall for the evening meal. 

The feeling of dread only increased when he entered the vast room and found it filled with party decorations and people milling about. Above the table hung a banner proclaiming "Good Luck Harry." Quickly Severus spun on his heel to make for his dungeons, only to have his escape thwarted by Albus, who grasped his arm firmly and steered him toward his seat. "Severus, so happy you saw fit to finally join us. You're looking well, looking well indeed. Here you go, my boy, sit right here. Hermione should have him here any minute now." 

Severus could see most of the regular staff had returned for the party, as well as the few surviving members of the original Order of the Phoenix. His eyes settled at an end of the U-shaped table on Remus and Tonks, both beaming at him. He barely had time to spare a half-smile for them before the hall was plunged into darkness amidst a flurry of whispered announcements of "They're coming." 

A minute of silence ticked by, broken here and there by muffled giggles. Then, he could hear her voice, sounding for the entire world like she was doing her best not to burst out in a fit of laughter. "I don't know where everyone is, Harry." 

Suddenly the room was flooded again with light and exploding with the voice of the group (with the exception of one, velvety deep voice) shouting in unison "Surprise." 

Albus wasted no time, with a wave of his hand, the tables were filled to overflowing with food and the celebration commenced. Severus found himself watching Hermione as she made her way around the table with Harry. He, himself, was crammed into a seat between Hagrid and Mad Eye Moody. So there was no hope of getting anywhere near her anytime soon. Severus simply did what he did best. He seemed to ignore everyone, but in reality, he watched Hermione. 

She was dressed in a flowing, and floral print chiffon dress with straps so tiny he couldn't figure out how they held the fabric up, especially considering how deep the v-neckline was dipping. At her ankles he caught a peek of heeled sandals peeking out every now and then, along with a tantalizing bit of leg. 

When Hermione and Harry took seats a bit further down the table, the sheer bulk of the giant seated next to him precluded him from seeing her further. With a sigh, he turned his attention to the plate in front of him. 

In usual Dumbledorean style, the meal was followed by a huge assortment of rich desserts. Normally, Severus would have forgone any such sweet, as it was usually accompanied by milling around and conversation, but on this evening he was compelled to stay. He steadfastly stayed in his seat and nursed a cup of coffee, while most everyone in the room was on their feet, sharing conversation and good times. 

He could barely control a groan when he saw Remus step into his line of vision and lower his extremely pregnant wife into the empty seat next to him. 

"What's with the natural hair color, Nymphadora? Practicing so you don't scare the babies?" Severus asked with a smirk. 

"Sod off you git. You know the babies are too much of a drain on my powers at this stage to fool around with that sort of stuff. Now then, what's up with you? Lose your wand, or just forget your shaving spells?" Tonks harsh words were contradicted by the twinkle in her eye. 

Severus couldn't help smiling as his eyes strayed to the huge bulge underneath Tonk's robes. "Yes, I see you're coming along nicely. And, no, I didn't lose my wand. I just thought it was time for a change." 

Above him, Severus heard Remus choke on the cup of coffee he was drinking. "Did you just say it was time for a change?" Remus looked quizzically from Severus to his wife. "He said a change, didn't he?" 

Tonks smiled knowingly at her husband. "Yes, I distinctly heard him say it was time for a change." She turned on the Potions Master and pinned him with her eyes. "So, who is she?" 

Severus remained aloof. "I don't know what you're prattling on about, Nymphadora." 

She knew him too well, though, and knew exactly what buttons to push. "Perhaps we have it wrong, Rem. Maybe it's not a she, after all. Maybe it's a HE." 

Severus was quick to step in, too quick in fact. "I assure you it's not a he." 

Tonks giggled at his fast response and reached up to run a finger over the fine linen of the shirt. "So, it is a she then. I assume she's here tonight, given the time you took dressing." Quickly, she scanned the room and her eyes settled on Hermione, who was hovering nearby, talking to Poppy and Minerva and sneaking glances at the woman who was touching Severus. A strange expression crossed her face for a moment and Severus mentally prepared himself for a lecture on robbing the cradle. No lecture came though. Tonks simply turned back to him with a soft look in her eyes and leaned in close, so close that even her husband couldn't hear the words she whispered to him. "Be happy." 

Next, Tonks, reached out and grabbed a hold of Severus' hands and much to his horror drug them to her pregnant stomach. "Do you feel them, Sev? They're moving, kicking and living, because of you." He was struggling to free his hands, but Tonks held them in an iron grip, while she went on, a tear beginning to wind a path down her cheek. "I haven't had the opportunity to thank you. Rem insisted that you would refuse me." 

Severus was finally able to reclaim his hands from the jerking and writhing mound of flesh. "He is correct. There is no need to thank me. I did nothing," he hissed as he rose to his feet so fast he knocked his chair over. 

Tonks was struggling, flailing an arm out for her husband and trying valiantly to get on her feet as well. Before Severus could escape, she had a hold of him again, "Don't you understand, Sev. You did everything. You gave us everything." He found himself clutched tightly in the arms of an over-hormonal pregnant witch who was drenching his shirt with tears and thanking him profusely. Severus could do little but pat her on her head, roll his eyes heavenward, and mumble "Your welcome" while her husband and Harry Potter stood by and laughed their asses off at him. The rest of the room watched on, looking very confused. 

Finally, with Remus' assistance, he was able to slip from her grasp and slip out the door, intent on finding some solitude. He was certain most of Hermione's evening was going to be occupied by Potter's going away festivities. He would have his walk by the lake alone and then retire to his quarters. 

Severus was just leaving the Front door of the Castle when he heard Hermione calling to him. "I thought we were going walking together?" Turning at the sound of her voice, he saw her strolling down the staircase carrying a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a napkin. "It's a warm night, I thought perhaps you might enjoy a drink with me, down by the lake," she explained, handing the bottle to him. 

Severus smiled, held the door wide for her, and indicated for her to pass ahead of him. Once outside, Hermione paused and held onto his arm. After a few moments of her teetering from foot to foot, her height dropped down a bit and she smiled, "Ok, that's better, let's go." When she padded down into the lush summer grass, Severus could see she left her heeled summer sandals lying on the front steps of the castle. "Those never would have done for a walk," she explained. "They were killing my feet, and the heels would have been getting caught in the dirt and grass." 

They walked for a while in the fading summer sunlight. Their conversation moved from potions research to Ministry news and even some of the latest Hogsmeade gossip. When they had walked a good distance around the lake, Hermione stopped. "This looks like a good place to rest." She handed the napkin to Severus, "Would you transfigure this into a blanket to sit on?" 

Severus raised an eyebrow haughtily at the young witch, "What is the matter with your own wand?" 

Hermione placed a hand on her hip seductively and began slowly inching her skirt up her leg. "Why, Professor, I'm sure you're aware where witches have to secure their wands when their attire is a bit, shall we say, revealing. Hmmmm, I believe mine is secured two inches or so above my knee so if you'll just give me a second..." Before her skirt had been raised more than three inches, Severus had whipped out his wand and transfigured the napkin into a blanket. 

"Point taken, Hermione, please accept my apologies." 

Before long, the wine was poured and they were both reclined watching the last of the sunset burn its way over the horizon. Hermione turned and studied him for a while before finally asking, "So, just what part did you play in Tonks' pregnancy?" 

Severus closed his eyes and grimaced. Gods, that sounded horrible. He could just imagine what some of the people in the Great Hall may have been thinking. He supposed he should tell her, her of all people. If she was, he hoped, to be a part of her life, then she needed to know and to understand what part he had played in their lives, in those babies' lives. 

With a deep breath, he began. 

"A couple of years ago Remus came to me with a problem and asking for my assistance. He had been speaking with the Lycanthropy research department at St. Mungo's about participating in one of their studies. Specifically, he wanted to help with a study into identifying the genetic markers of Lycanthropy. Obviously, he and Nymphadora wanted to have a family and if the genetic markers could be identified, then they had a chance to have children of their own." 

"He had been told that he would need to have DNA samples taken from various stages of his transformation. They would need to be taken from different transformations, not the same transformations. Thus, the time span involved would be years. This was unacceptable to Remus. He was sure I could develop something to force the transformations. An anti-wolfbane, if you will. He was so confident in me, he actually begged." 

Hermione smiled at this and reached out to take Severus' hand and scoot a little closer to him, "So you did it?" 

His voice was gruff, "Of course I did, how could I not? I developed a potion to make him transform into his wolf form. Off he went to the experts, happy as a clam. He told them to make him transform as often as they wanted, take as much DNA as they wished, but find his damn genes and help he and his wife to have a baby. Next thing I know there is a drunk and furious Remus in my dungeon. They had sent him packing. They had told him in polite language that if he thought any of them were going to stay in the same room with a transforming or transformed werewolf he was crazy. Find someone to get the DNA himself and they would be happy to do the research." 

Again, Hermione moved closer to him, this time, resting her head in the crook of his neck, where he could feel her breath against his bare skin. "So, you took the DNA samples, too?" 

Severus set his wine glass down behind him and slid a hand around to the small of her back, lightly tracing circles. "Not just me, my dear. I wasn't crazy enough to do it alone. Potter and I took them together. Night after night for weeks on end Remus transformed. The samples had to be taken and various intervals into the transformation, 10 minutes in, 20 minutes in, 30 minutes, and so on, but not on the same night. It was exhausting for him and dangerous for us. Not even Tonks knows the full extent of the 'research' that we all had to go through, and don't you bloody well tell her." 

Hermione had relaxed against him, "Mmmmm, I won't. What happened next?" 

"The DNA samples were sent to St. Mungo's where they were able to isolate the Lycanthropic gene in his samples. With some muggle technology and some of Remus' sperm samples, they found which sperm were not carrying the gene. They used in vitro-fertilization to fertilize three of Nymphadora's eggs, implanted them, two of which took. You saw the results of which tonight." 

He felt her smile against his skin. "That's so sweet." 

With a shift of his hips, she was sprawled beneath him. "Don't ever call me sweet," he growled out before capturing her mouth. There was no hesitance under him, no teasing or innocence. She opened to him and allowed his tongue and his soul to touch hers. This was what had been missing from his life for the last four years and for the last forty. 

Her hands found his face and began to trace the angles and threading through his beard. He could feel her smiling even while she still returned his kisses with a fevered passion. His hands were exploring as well, but more interesting places than her face. He had found her wand, attached by a garter to her thigh. It had been carefully laid aside while he went searching for more exciting treasures. 

She groaned when his mouth left hers and moved lower, sucking and biting gently as he wet a trail into the deep V of her dress. She wore no bra, since most witches knew a charm or two when they needed to forgo the use of one. The tiny straps on her dress had long since slipped down from her shoulders and he needed no hands to bare her breast to his mouth. At the first, deep pull she arched up off the blanket and began the move her hands restlessly over his back, pulling his shirt loose from his pants and seeking the bare flesh beneath. 

He rose above her again, as his hands found the lace panties beneath her skirt. They were already moist and as he ran a finger beneath the edge, her eyes opened wildly and sought out his own. Not to be outdone by him, one of her own hands moved from his bare back and slipped beneath his waistband to grasp his buttocks before continuing it's journey around to the front and to his hot, aching shaft. Her other hand, meanwhile, began to methodically open the buttons on his fly, one by one. 

"Slow, slow, slow, slow," his mind began to chant. He had only meant to tease her a bit. He hadn't meant for things to go this far. Now, his body was running like the Hogwarts Express on full throttle. He had to get himself under control or he would take her here and now. 

Mustering up the very last vestige of any semblance of power over his libido he pulled her hands very, very carefully away from his very sensitive areas. "Slow, slow, you said you wanted slow," he panted out, struggling with every word. She was protesting, but he wouldn't allow himself to hear her, he couldn't. Still holding onto both of her wrists, he rose to his knees. "Not here, not now, Hermione. You deserve more than a blanket and grass." His breathing was slowing down and it was getting easier to talk and to think. He pulled her to her feet and cupped her cheek. "You deserve candlelight, silk, champagne, and soft music." He placed a soft kiss on her forehead before he stooped to retrieve her wand. The wine bottle, glasses, and blanket were quickly disposed of before he took her in his arms once again. His kiss was whisper soft and gentle. "You deserve perfection." 

From the window of the Headmasters office, Sal and Albus watched as the two strolled back to the castle hand in hand. "What the bloody hell was that?" Sal began to flit around the room in a fury. "Did I just see that correctly? Did he have a hand up her skirt and his mouth on her rather nice looking tit and then just STOP!?" 

"Wait a second, Salazar. I thought I told you to stop watching them when they were doing what they were doing while they were lying down. Were you doing that astral projection thing again?" Albus was looking more than a little upset with the Slytherin ghost. 

"Sod off, Albus. I have more important issues here. He stopped, do you understand? He just stopped dead. You don't think he's, well, not into women, do you? Not that I find it a big deal under normal circumstances, but he is my head of house and I like my head of house to exhibit my personal characteristics and, well, being a poof isn't one of them. I mean, Albus, he just Gods damned stopped." 

"Salazar, of all the narrow minded idiotic things that have ever come out of your mouth. Severus is not gay and even if he was who cares? I happen to think he just might care a bit about her and may be taking this a bit slowly. I know that idea may be a bit hard for you to wrap your one-track mind around, but some people think relationships are more than just sex." 

In another part of the castle, Hermione was pressed up against the door of her quarters. She was breathing into Severus' ear as she spoke, "So, you're sticking to this crazy, taking it slowly idea? What idiot thought that up?" 

"Mmmmmmmm. I'll see you tomorrow." With a last swipe at her lips, he pulled himself away and turned from her to disappear down the dark corridor. 

With a satisfied and blissful smile, she let herself into her rooms. The evening had gone much better than she ever had hoped. In a dreamlike daze she wandered to the second floor of her suite and undressed. After slipping into her nightgown, she crawled into her bed, thinking all along of Severus. 

Within minutes, though, a cold crept through her body, chilling her to the bone. Warming charms could not cast off the cold, nor the feeling of dread. A voice filled her head, not a silky voice but a terrifying voice. She tried to ignore the voice and finally she succeeded, falling into a fitful sleep. Even in her slumber she was haunted. Her dreams that night were filled not with dreams of love but with nightmares of terror and blood. 


End file.
